The designer was laying on the bed far away from her babies.
It had been a week since they were born and now they were safely at home.
She heard how Jisoo was taking care of them and it sounded amazing with their little babbles and whatnot.
Jennie couldn't help but start to feel blue at the absence of her babies and her Lieutenant.
She could barely get up, the scar made it so hard for her to move. She was in pain most of the time, she felt exhausted and for some reason a lot of anxiety.
She heard Jisoo coo at their twins and she just about lost it.
Am I a bad mother?
I can't be with them right now, I feel.. worthless.
I feel like I'm not even a mom.
Jennie hugged the pillow closer to her and started to cry.
She felt horrible, physically and emotionally and it didn't help that it felt like it was swallowing her up whole inside.
Even if she knew that she did the best she could, it didn't stop the relentless thoughts attacking her.
The Lieutenant walked in after putting their twins back to sleep and she wasn't exactly prepared for what she saw.
"Jendeuk..?" She whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed quickly when she saw how badly the designer was in tears.
"Whatever I'm working on for the next 3-4 months, cancel everything." Jennie mumbled.
"Wait, what? Jen?"
"Every press, every interview or whatever it is, cancel it. Now." She muttered.
The Lieutenant was a bit stunned.
Quitting something for Jennie was a big deal, she rarely did it. The designer perseveres through everything no matter what.
But what stunned her the most was how Jennie said it so firmly because once she made her mind, that's what happened.
Jisoo looked at Jennie who was looking back at her with teary eyes and a pillow covering half her face.
She reached out for her phone and texted Dara, confirming absolutely that everything for the next 4 months would be canceled.
The Lieutenant placed the phone back down on the table and looked at Jennie sincerely.
"Can you tell me what's wrong?" She said, pulling on the pillow.
"Do you think.. I'm a bad mother?"
The Lieutenant blinked. "What makes you say that?"
Jennie shook her head, burying her face in the pillow. She reached out for the Lieutenants hand and the Lieutenant got the message loud and clear.
She moved to lay on the bed and the designer immediately curled up next to her, getting as close to her as she possibly could.
"I feel like I can't do anything. I just lay in bed.. I want to go see my babies I want to comfort them when they're crying I-I—" She stopped talking and cried harshly into Jisoo's shoulder.
The Lieutenant moved slightly to give comforting pats but she was mostly thinking of the right things to say to Jennie.
"You just had a major surgery.. You gave birth to our twins and you had to endure pain without me by your side for god knows how many hours.. I think you're incredible."
"It's been a week and this is our first night back home, I told you I will do everything for you so you don't have to. I need to do this because you're not well literally."
