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_________ Kiaras' POV:
it had been a few hours since I'd returned home, mainly occupied by screaming, shouting, throwing shit, you name it. My mother locked me in my room about an hour ago. The whole time I've spend pacing and crying. I've been listening through the door, they're talking about boarding schools and wilderness camps, which is a no for me. I honestly feel like my heart is broken. I wish my parents would listen, but I know they're too far up their own asses to listen. All that matters is their prestige reputation and the stupid fucking restaurant, or in other words their golden child.
A few more hours had passed and it must've been around late afternoon, the talk of boarding schools and wilderness camps had subsided for tonight. I heard the door unlock which caused me to quickly scramble to my feet. The door swung open and my mother and fathers faces appeared, clearly livid. "Tell him what you told me." My mother spat. I explained everything, I tried so hard to get them to believe me, or even just understand would be enough. Of course they couldn't, they don't see me as their daughter anymore, just someone who disgraced them. "Why are you like this?" My mother shouted while approaching me. "I don't understand what you mean." I spat, trying to sound as rude as possible. "I mean, why have you become such a selfish spiteful bitch?" My mother shouted a few inches from my face. No need to shout but alright. "When you stopped caring." I spoke, my voice seemed to silence everything. "When did we not care Kiara?" My mother hissed, her face growing more spiteful by the second. "When you decided a reputation was better than me, when you repeatedly missed out on parts of my life because you were too busy at stupid events or at the restaurant." I spoke, feeling my voice break and tears well in my eyes. "We did all of this for you." She shouted. There really was no need to shout, I got the message, and she was a few inches from me. "For me? No. You did this for you. It's always been about you, trying to fix your name after you got pregnant with a pogues bastard child, you're parents made you marry as quick as possible and never forgave you. You hoped that getting money would make them think you're doing something with your life." I spat each word. Trying to suppress the tears that were so desperate to fall. "It had nothing to do with that, it never has. It's always been about Kiara. I've given my all to raise you, and you continue to screw me over, time and time again. I know my parents were disappointed, but at least I had you. Not even that you cared." She shouted. I know what she's doing, a few years ago and I would have apologised profusely, but it's all lies. It's always been lies. She tells me that in hopes I'll feel bad and continue to be her perfect daughter, go back to school, get straight A's, go to an Ivy school, marry a stupid rich man and end up as an alcoholic before I'm 30. "I tried, I've tried time and time again, I've always done what you asked. I went to that stupid kook school, got bullied everyday just so you could tell your friends your daughter was enrolled there. I went to all your events knowing very well that everyone there hated me, I would sit quietly beside you while you told stories about you in your prime teenage years before you had me, about how smart you were and how much I'm like dad. I've never fit your standards. I'm sorry for that, I've tried but I'm so fucking tired of trying. I will never be good enough for you. You don't seem to realise that I'm trying, you only seem to acknowledge what I lack, and that's clearly too much." I spoke, trying to get all my words out as she defended herself. "It's never been that Kiara. You make me sick sometimes. You've never seemed to understand the bigger picture. Figure eight is a privilege, something that you should take pride in and all you ever do is mope and cry about it. I don't care if you hate me in a few years, I've done all this for you." She shouted. "It was never for me. Stop lying about it and own it. It's always been for the approval of other kooky parents. It's never been about my crippling mental health as you propped me up on such unrealistic and unachievable goals. You never seemed to care when I'd spend hours on end sobbing into my pillows about how much I couldn't bare to be alive or how lonely I was, you only care when it's convenient to you." I said as tears began to freefall. "I never noticed any of that." My mother defended herself. "It's not that you never noticed, it's that you never cared. You've never liked having talks about my mental health. You never listened when I cried about how lonely I was, you only told me it was normal. You told me it was normal to feel like you didn't belong in hopes I'd overcome it and become a snobby kook like your stupid friends." I shouted, my voice ripping through my throat as the tears began to smother my face. "I didn't know it was that bad." My mother spoke, anger laced in her voice. "You didn't want to know. It wasn't a problem as long as you overlooked it." I sniffled while letting out a low laugh, I didn't find anything funny, I just felt annoyed. My mother had a look of pure anger on her face. I watched as my dad awkwardly watched all this unfold. It looked as though my mother was ready to slap me before my dad stepped in and pulled her away.
I ran over and locked my door, leaving a note on the bed before opening my bedroom window and running until my legs gave out underneath me and my chest was heaving so badly I thought it was bound to explode.
I slid up against a stone wall, thinking of the note. Not that I expect you to understand, but I can't stay here. Not with you, not with dad. I know I've disappointed you both. You can tell people I'm away at school, I'll stay out of sight or change my appearance. I hate that you can't admit you overlooked many things in my teenage years even in my childhood. All I've ever wanted from you was an apology or for you to tell me you're proud of me. I know it's an unrealistic goal but I suppose we both have them. I love you always, even though it doesn't seem it. All my love, Kie.
Every detail on the note, replaying in my mind. Where am I going to go? I don't expect JJ or Jules to take me in. Maybe Sarah? No. I could never ask them for that, they've so much horrible things going on they shouldn't have to worry about me .
I wandered down the beach, aimlessly watching as families played in the water. Was it so fucking hard to choose your daughter over others opinions? I watched as a young girl ran up to her mother. She hugged her tightly and I felt my heartache as the mother held a towel tightly around her and kissed her head. I don't even remember the last time my mother had held me. I don't even remember the last time my mother said she loved me. I watched as the dad approached his daughter and the mother, pulling them both into a tight hug and pretending to chase the daughter as she cheered and squealed with joy. I have no memories with my family that had so much happiness.
I dropped myself down against a old dead tree. I have no phone to call anyone, I have no jacket to sleep out here in, I have nothing. I stayed there, watching the waves crash down on the sand repeatedly before dragging themselves back out to sea. I watched as the sun began to set. Since it's the end of September the sun goes down much earlier, the days are still warm, but the nights are ice cold. I can't stay out here or I'll freeze. I began to walk towards the once place I know will accept me, no questions asked. The Haywards.
Thank you all so much for 5k reads. I'm honestly so shocked anyone wants to read my work Nevermind that many people. I hope everyone is okay and if you have exams, I hope all goes well. I love you all so much thank you :)
