Make Me Smile || Kurt Cobain

Chapter 51 - Serve The Servants

Kurt

I eyed Izzy suspiciously as I walked down the hall and began to approach him. There was a certain look on his face I just couldn't quite understand or comprehend; he looked anxious.

Yet something still seemed off. Something I couldn't quite understand.

And Ashlyn wasn't with him. Hmm.

With those observations, I made my way over to him hoping to get some answers.

"Where is she?" I asked inquisitively, my voice laced with anger.

"Relax. She's just taking a nap. Poor thing is exhausted" He said. "I think it's an after effect of getting drugged"

"Dammit" I cursed under my breath.

"And hey look, I really shouldn't tell you this because I know you have a problem with me and I don't care too much about you but I do care about Ash and I feel I should tell you this"

I narrowed my eyebrows at Izzy as I waited for him to complete his statement.

"So... what is it?" I asked.

"I told Ashlyn about my drug days which I'm sure you're already aware of but... um..." Izzy stopped as my face went white at the mention of the word 'drugs'. My heartbeat began to race as I kept my eyes on him, curious and slightly fearful about what would happen next. "...she was really pissed, scared and disappointed. It took me a while to calm her down"

What?

No.

No.

"What?" I spoke out. "She got angry? At you? At you?" I asked again, feeling the need to be clarified.

Other than the day Izzy inadvertently punched Ashlyn, I've never seen her get angry at him.

Heck even then, she forgave him in a heartbeat.

Why then would she get angry at him? Over a habit he had stopped a long time ago no less?

What then would she say about me?

It didn't make any sense!

"Believe it or not" Izzy said with a frown as he ran his hand through his hair. "I had to affirm and reaffirm that I quit a long time ago until she calmed down." Izzy sighed. "Honestly man I don't know why I'm telling you this because I hate your guts but... I've been a heroin addict and I know you are as well"

"You don't know that" I said defensively, though it was pretty obvious I was lying to him.

"Right." Izzy said sarcastically. "Whether or not you're an addict, if you are really serious about Ashlyn you've got a big problem there. You know very well her mom was an addict. She still holds that torch"

Well, that didn't sound like Ashlyn at all.

But then again, coming from someone who had a shitty relationship with his parents, I could understand holding something against them.

Especially something that scarred her at an early age.

Poor girl.

The last thing I wanted to add to her scarring and pain. And now, knowing that she would be absolutely devastated if she found out that I was a user.... Fucking Christ.

"So, on the very slim chance that I wanna ask you for advice, what would you advise me to do?" I asked Izzy genuinely.

Not that I trusted the guy or anything, but I just wanted to hear his opinion on things.

"Kurt. I don't want you to date Ashlyn. She's very dear to me and I don't like you one bit" Izzy said honestly as I nodded. "But... she does seem happy with you, unfortunately. And while it has taken me a while to get used to you, heck I don't think I'll ever get used to you... I really love Ashlyn. A lot. And I want the best for her" Izzy paused as he gave me the once over. "Kurt, I know you two like each other. But if you're not willing to tell her about your problem or you're not actively trying to get clean, then put things on pause"