Make Me Smile || Kurt Cobain

Chapter 50 - Even In His Youth

Ashlyn

I watched Kurt walk away slowly as my anxiety peaked.

"So, about what I wanted to say..." Izzy started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"You've got a lot of explaining to do Jeff" I said, crossing my hands over my chest. "Why? What if Chris was the one who drugged my drink?"

"I... I'm so sorry Ash" Izzy said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I'll explain everything, let's just go in" He said, motioning to his room door.

I nodded as Izzy opened the door for me to enter the room before coming in himself.

"Make yourself comfortable beautiful" He said. I made my way to his bed and sat on it. Izzy sat right next to me.

"Okay, so now that we've settled down, do you mind giving me an explanation to why you'd associate with someone who legit forced himself on me and then also tell him my various locations? That's fucking messed up Jeff!" I yelled.

Izzy's gaze faltered a bit as I saw an expression of guilt cross his face. He then took a sigh and looked down.

"Ashlyn, you can't even begin to imagine how sorry I am. I didn't know any of these would play out like this. Your drugging, Chris most likely being involved and whatnot." Izzy said. "Chris came to me and asked me for advice on how to deal with you because apparently, I was the only one close to you who hadn't beaten him up in any way"

True. Axl, Mike and Kurt had all taken their turns pummeling Chris.

"I guess. But why didn't you tell me or something?" I asked.

"You would've have agreed"

"Exactly!" I yelled. "Nah, Jeffrey Dean Isbell. You fucked up. Big time"

"I know. I just... oh God... how do I even tell you this?" He soliloquized.

"By starting from you know, the beginning, the genesis, the starting point, the incep..."

"I used to do drugs" Izzy spat out.

"...tion" I finally said, completing my earlier statement as Izzy finished his. I stayed at him in disbelief as I desperately tried to process the words he uttered. "What?"

"I was both a user and a dealer" He said again, dropping another bomb which shook me to the core.

Jeff was a drug dealer and a drug user.

What?

How?

When?

Why?

These were all the questions floating around my head. I was a state in extreme shock and confusion.

But one question continued to ring in my head. Probably not the most important question but the most most relevant.

"What does that have to do with Chris?" I asked, subconsciously taking Izzy's hand in mine.

I had a soft spot for drug addicts because I knew they were all victims. Plus they aren't bad people they're just good people making bad decisions.

Well, most of them at least.

"Ash, around the time that GNR blew up, I got hooked on heroin and it was my daily bread at all hours of the day." He said. "I was addicted to it. It nearly consumed me. My girlfriend then left me and a few of my friends deserted me. Axl threatened to kick me out of the band unless I got straight but still, that wasn't enough leverage for me" Izzy said.

My heart broke.

I had no idea Izzy struggled that much with his addictions. I had no idea he was an addict in the first place.