Make Me Smile || Kurt Cobain

Chapter 72 - I Never Lost Control

Ashlyn

I hung up abruptly on Chris when I heard a knock on the door. The last thing I needed anyone to know was that I was talking to him. I made my way over to the door and was about to open it when I got a painful flashback of what happened the night Izzy raped me.

I decided not to open the door right away until I knew who was behind it.

"Who is it?" I yelled over the door.

"It's me. Courtney" A familiar voice said from the other side. I heaved a sigh of relief as I opened the door and let Courtney in. Once she got in she engulfed me in a tight hug.

"Oh Ash, Kurt filled me in on everything. Be strong" She said.

"I'm trying my best to be. I just... I'm just tired of being scared all the time." I admitted with a sigh. "How's Frances?"

"She's fine. But are you?" Court asked. I shook my head no and she sighed. "C'mon let's sit down on the bed. Let big sister Courtney take care of you" She said, sitting down. I sat down right next to her.

"Courtney, I honestly don't know what to do with myself anymore" I admitted. "Why am I such a target? Did I make a mistake going on tour and joining Nirvana?"

"Of course not" Courtney said. "All those guys are just perverts and you don't have to blame yourself for anything that happened. Not a thing"

"But I must be doing something wrong. Am I sending in the wrong signals? Do I give off the impression of being easy? Am I weak and vulnerable that people think they can just have their way with me?" I ranted, pulling at my own hair. "It dawns on me at random times Courtney. I'm not a virgin anymore. My virginity was taken away from me. Stolen. I wanted to keep it till marriage or at least till I find that special someone. Now it was robbed from me, by my brother's best friend who never gave me a sign that he wanted to do anything to me. My heart and my head are in shambles girl" I confessed as I burst into tears, crying out on Courtney's shoulder.

Courtney

"There there Ash. Let it out. Let it all out" I egged, feeling nothing but pity for the poor girl. Ashlyn continued to cry and cry her heart out.

After a while, she succumbed to tiredness and slept off. I smiled at her and tucked her into bed, keeping a mental note to tell Kurt and Michael that she had slept off in case Kurt wanted to come over and sleep beside her.

However, as I began to exit the room, I noticed Ashlyn's phone light up and vibrate silently. When I looked at the caller ID, I saw a very familiar name which made me clench my teeth in anger .

I picked it up and tried to do my best Ashlyn impression. Acting was one of my hidden gifts after all.

"Hey love, you didn't call me back. I just wanted to make sure you were alright"

"Oh thanks Chris. I'm alright. At least I will be" I said, doing my best Ashlyn impression.

"So you're still up for the self defense lessons?" He asked. I furrowed my brows in confusion. Lessons? How?

And why is Chris even calling Ashlyn in the first place? When did that all start?

"Uh...yeah, sure" I replied as Ashlyn.

"I'll come up with a more rigorous schedule then. Something that will make you more of a hard hitter" Chris said, leaving me in confusion.

What?

What was going on between these people? What did Chris want with Ashlyn?

"Are you still there Ash?" Chris asked.