Make Me Smile || Kurt Cobain

Chapter 30 - The Day I Tried To Live

Ashlyn

I had to admit, Kurt and Frances did cheer me up.

Mostly Frances.

And I really did appreciate the fact that Kurt didn't try to bring up anything because he knew it would just bring down my mood.

My feelings for that man grow everyday. Honestly.

Kurt stayed for a while then left with Frances to take her back to Courtney somewhere around midnight and I slept not too long after that.

Did I sleep well? Well let's say it's pretty hard to get any sleep when 'you know who' was in the same building as me.

As much as I loved England, and despite my excitement of performing at the biggest festival of the year, I just couldn't wait to get back to the states.

But that was for next week. Today however, was the big day. So despite my whole predicament, I was pumped as fuck.

"There she is. You look pretty as always" Krist cheered on as I stepped into their dressing room. I had a separate one cause I'm a girl which was really cute of our manager.

I looked down at my outfit and blushed in appreciation of that compliment. I wore a black tank top with a black and blue flannel shirt, jean shorts, white sneakers with what was now my signature maroon lipstick and my hair in a loose ponytail.

It was pretty much what I always wore on stage as well as in real life. Only I wore more jeans.

Kurt turned around and smiled at me then walked over and gently kissed my forehead. I didn't flinch or freeze after making contact meaning I was either slowly getting rid of that feeling I had or...

I was just comfortable around Kurt.

"How are you feeling now?" He asked. I smiled.

"A lot better. How did you know Frances would help me so much?"

"Babies. Plus she helped me a lot too" He said with a cute smile. "My daughter is one of the best things that has ever happened to me"

"I can see that" I said. "How are you? Generally?"

"Well I have to admit kinda nervous. We're performing in front of thirty five thousand people. But I'm still excited. It's not everyday we get to headline a festival"

It was then it dawned on me. We were actually headlining. I was part of the band headlining. This was actually huge.

"Thanks again for giving me the chance to perform with you guys" I said to him then made my voice louder for Krist and Dave to hear. "Thanks you guys. I'm really grateful for the spot in your hand"

"Ash, this is OUR band. You're a part of it" Krist said. I teared up a bit at that. These guys were so sweet.

"Awwn she's crying. Get in here" Krist said motioning for a hug and i quick went over to hug him, not feeling as nervous as I was yesterday. "You guys too"

"Do we have to?" Dave asked with a groan.

"Yes" Chris asserted as the guys came over and wrapped their arms around me as well.

"So, we never tell anyone about this group hug ever?" Dave asked.

"Oh, we will" Krist, Kurt and I simultaneously and all broke into laughs as Dave groaned. Krist ruffled his hair. "So we're on in... actually quite a while. About two hours"

"We were fucking early. Something Axl Rose cannot relate to" Kurt joked.

"Kurt!" I warned.

"It's true though" He said. I glared at him but ultimately sighed. I couldn't defend Axl on that one. "See!"