Make Me Smile || Kurt Cobain

Chapter 21 - Experience Anything You Need

Kurt

The bus seemed a little quiet today. Krist and I basically had a lazy day while Dave and... Ashlyn went out.

Ashlyn.

Tobi's words still remain etched in my subconscious. I didn't wanna be the one to ruin that girl's bright future. I had a problem and God if she found out...

"You know you should just talk to her. You're not treating her well man. I've seen the hurt in her eyes many times" Krist said. I sighed.

"I don't know how to tell her about my little... problem. You know I need it for my stomach but she won't get it."

"What makes you think so? She's a sweet girl and she cares so much about you" Krist said.

"Maybe. But her mom did drugs. It didn't leave a good taste in her mouth. I don't wanna be reminder of that. She would hate me!" I exclaimed.

That was my inner fear. That Ash would toss me aside and resent me. I knew she was a sweet girl but PTSD from her mom was still imminent.

"Just try talking to her. The more days pass the worst it'll get trust me" Krist said. I opened my mouth to say something but was interrupted by the sound of the door opening meaning that they were back. "Now's your chance"

"Shhh" I hushed as we looked over at the door anxiously. I decided to stand up and help with the stuff they bought then seize the opportunity to talk to her but when the door opened fully, I only saw Dave.

"Hey guys. Miss me?" Dave asked quirkily. I ignored him and looked outside. No sign of Ashlyn.

"Where's Ash?" I asked. "Did something happen to her?"

"Nah she'll be back later" Dave said as he got into the bus and set the bags on the counter.

Krist and I shared confused glances.

"Uhhhh... where is she?" Krist asked.

"Oh it's a long story really. See, we were in the mall and all then River Phoenix came out of literally nowhere. They hit it off and suddenly he's asking her out to dinner" Dave said with a shrug. "Anyways who's hungry?"

"He what?!" I spat. "And you allowed her? What if something happens to her? God!"

"Relax, she's eighteen. And she's a celebrity now. She'll be fine. Plus she seems to like him too" Dave said.

Damn. That hurt I wasn't gonna lie. I felt like someone stabbed me in the chest.

"But hey man, no worries right? We know he's a good guy he'll take care of her" Dave said. Krist facepalmed.

"He likes her man. Don't you see it?" Krist pointed out.

"Really? Well just talk to her when she comes back. Tell her about your feelings" Dave advised. "And if you liked her all this while, you shouldn't have ignored her"

"I... I know. But... oh God"

"He's self conscious about his... problem. He's been hiding it well so far but if they're gonna date, he has to tell her" Krist explained. Dave made a small 'o' with his mouth as a sign of sudden realization.

"I see. But Ashlyn's not like that. She's pretty supportive. Plus she cares about you"

"Same thing I said" Krist said.

"Her mom had issues with drugs. She won't take it lightly. I know what I'm saying" I said with a groan.

"Just try to talk to her at least. When she comes back" Dave suggested.