Make Me Smile || Kurt Cobain

Chapter 56 - Reflection

Ashlyn

Pain.

All I feel is pain.

Emotional pain, psychological pain, physical pain, mental pain.

I've been trying to understand exactly what happened this afternoon.

From my argument with Kurt to everything that happened with Izzy.

I was almost raped today. If not for Kurt... and my brother.

I was almost raped by my brother's best friend. I was injured badly by him as well. Someone I trusted. Someone I loved.

It hurt my heart deeply. Honestly, it did.

"You're awake sweetheart?" I heard Kurt's voice ring through my ears.

My eyes shot wide open as they got accommodated with the lights of the hospital room I was in.

An IV was attached to my hand and bandages were wrapped around my head.

"Hi Kurt" I said softly. "I passed out, didn't I?"

"Yep. Due to blood loss and shock." He said. "Are you alright?"

"I'm in pain but the wounds will heal." I said. "Though the trauma..." I said with a sniffle. "I still can't believe he did that to me. I'm so sorry for not listening to you all this time"

"I know. I won't fault you on that." Kurt said sincerely. "I sounded like a jealous boyfriend and I know you see him like a brother. I guess he didn't. Though I never thought that he'd go as far as... that"

"Raping me." She corrected. "You can say it. Je... Izzy tried to rape me. And I was too weak and stupid to fight him off"

"Don't say that"

"But it's true!" I cried. "If not for the fact that you and Axl came at the right time, Izzy would've done worse. Heck, he could've even knocked me up and I bet he wouldn't have cared"

"Holy fuck" Kurt swore.

"And, it makes me sad. On one hand, I'm glad he didn't go further than he did but on another hand, I'm still fucking scarred. I'm a virgin Kurt" I said as his eyes widened. "I've always imagined my first time as being extremely special. Izzy ruined that for me." I said.

"I'm really sorry about all these Ash" Kurt said, grabbing my hand gently and rubbing his thumb across it. "I'm just happy we got there in time"

"I appreciate. And how exactly did you guys know? You didn't seem particularly shocked which is quite unlike you"

"Believe it or not, I was informed by Chris Cornell of all people." Kurt said. My eyes widened in shock. "Yeah. Turns out that Chris knew Izzy wanted to fuck you all along but never thought the guy would go as far as... what he did. But apparently, Izzy wanted to and he even offered Chris a chance to... do so as well but Chris didn't wanna go through with it"

"Wow" I exclaimed. I was extremely shocked at how things actually went.

Chris actually saved me inadvertently. Because whether or not he was in the picture, Izzy was gonna do what he did either way.

Also Izzy had no problem with passing me on to someone else as long as he got what he wanted. That fucking sucked.

I had to talk to Chris.

"Hold my hand Kurt" I pleaded. Kurt nodded as he interlocked his hand with my free one. The one that wasn't connected to an IV.

Izzy

I paced back and forth across the reception of the hospital as I reflected on what happened.

Jeffrey Dean Isbell, what did you do?