Random Oneshots

77: MARGA

“MARGA”

Everyone who knows her can tell you one thing: she's bubbly. She's always smiling and her optimism makes her their ray of sunshine.

Marga knows so well what she has to do. "Forget me and focus on them. It's always them before me."

She's fun to be with. She can make your day be as bright as she can be. On the days when darkness creeps you in, call and she'll be there.

She has to be.

There's something inside Marga that tells what her purpose is: to make them happy. But deep inside her smiles, deep inside her soft laughters, her silly jokes, her warmest compliments and optimism, hides the real Marga.

The real Marga doesn't wanna smile anymore. The real Marga's tired of everything and the real Marga wants to die.

Yes.

She wants to so bad.

Sometimes she's holding a knife and thinks, what if I just stab myself?Would I die from it?Would they panic?Call for help?

Would they miss me?

Would they miss the person who makes them smile everyday?

Probably yes. It sounds very promising to be honest.

But sometimes, when she's lurking around the corner, watching her friends and wanting to see what they'll do without her hurts her. Because they are happy.

They are still happy without her.

It saddens her to think that her only purpose in life is nothing because they can laugh without her. She feels so useless and pathetic.

She wants people to need her.

She wants them to think that somehow, her friends will ask help on her. Or tell them their problems.

That way she'll feel that she's worth it after all.

Marga's weird. But sometimes her weirdness can make everyone laugh. Her weirdness on tackling about how she wants to die makes them laugh. She likes dark jokes, especially if it's about her. She wanted to make everything feel like its a joke. Like her problems that she's keeping from them will eventually vanish.

Marga doesn't want them to feel sad for her. She doesn't want to see them sad because it breaks her heart. Everytime she hears them cry, she wanted to hug them all day until they stop. She wants to do everything for her friends.

If Marga dies, would they cry?would they feel sad? That's what keeping her from giving in to her thoughts. Them.

They're everything for her. And she'll do whatever it takes for them because she loves them so much. They're more than friends, they're family she wish she had.

She looked in the mirror, a tear left from her eye. She quickly wiped it as she continued to smile. She shouldn't fold. She has to be strong for them.

She can do this. She can fight the urges, her sinking into the darkness because she's light herself.

But everytime she realizes what she is without her friends, she can't help but swim in melancholy. Her light fades away everytime she's not with them.

Maybe Marga meant something to them, but they're everything to her.

But I know someday, Marga will be tired of fighting her own demons. Someday she'll try and when she did, she'll be gone. Forever.

So please, help her.

Help her while you can.

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I know its kinda messy because it kind of just flowed into my mind rn. Sobrang sad ko kaya nasulat ko ito at wala na akong mapagsabihan haha. But don't worry about me, my friends are here and as long as I'm with them, I'll be fine.

And guys, sorry dahil wala na akong masyadong updates medyo tinatamad na talaga ako. But promise once I get my senses back, I'll update na ulit. Thank you!