Trust me~ Elmax

Chapter 36: At The Mall

Max's pov

I got ready to go to the mall with lucas. I wasn't really in the mood to go to be honest. I missed el so much. I just wish we could hang out together again

It might sound mean but I wish I could go to the mall with el instead of lucas but I like lucas as well. It's just not the same, I don't know how to explain it

The kiss felt so weird. I was thinking about it last night. But it shouldn't be weird. Why didn't i like it. All those thoughts were keeping me up last night.

I kept thinking what was wrong with me. Most girls would be so happy for that. Kissing a boy for the first time. Maybe lucas is not really the one I like

Anyways, i got ready and waited for lucas to come pick me up. He finally arrived and knocked on the door. I asked my mom for some money and she gave me fortunately

Obviously i couldn't ask Neil. It's not that i care much it he does give me. I'm scared of his reaction and I would rather not risk it

I opened the door as lucas stood there with a smile on his face. "hey" he said. "hi" I said with a small smile. "Um.. Let's go" he said. It was awkward for some reason.

I nodded and followed him to his bike and hopped on as we headed to the mall.

I didn't have any other choice but to wrap my arms around his waist in order not to fall off the bike. I remember when el did that because I was the one biking since she doesn't know how-

Stop thinking about her max. Everything reminds me of her. She never gets off my mind and it's driving me crazy. Because I shouldn't feel like that but I love it at the same time

After a few minutes we arrived at the mall. "so where do you want to to first" he asked. "I don't mind, you pick" I said. He nodded. "we could.. Go to some stores and walk a little and then go eat ice cream?" he said. "yeah sure, sounds nice" I said as he smiled

We started going into different stores etc. Lucas insisted on buying me anything but I didn't want to. After a while we sat down to eat ice cream and just started talking about random stuff

After some time we saw Steve and Robin walking towards us. "oh hey, what are you guys doing here?" lucas asked. "not happy to see us sinclair?" Steve said with a raised eyebrow

"I am happy just curious" lucas said defensively. "I know, I'm joking" Steve said. "hey max, can you come with me for a little? You two can talk, we'll be back" Robin said

They both nodded as I stood up and followed her. We went and sat somewhere. I was a bit nervous cause Robin looked at me as if i did something and had to lecture me about it

"Um.. What's up?" I asked. She stated at me for a second. "Are you and lucas dating?" she asked. "oh um, no?" I said. "then why are you two together? Like alone, it looks like you're on a date-" she said

"woah calm down Robin. We're not on a date.. At least I think so but anyways we're just friends" I said. "I don't think he knows that" she said. I frowned

She sighed at my confused expression. "I mean, I don't think he knows that this is not a date. I can clearly tell he likes you. But I wasn't expecting you to like him. I mean i could sense something but-" she said

"What are you trying to say Robin?" I asked feeling a bit nervous. "You know what i mean.." she said. I frowned even more. "no, actually I don't" I said. She rolled her eyes. "Come on max, obviously you like el-" she said as my eyes widened for some reason

"What?!" I asked a bit louder than I intended. "What do you mean 'what?!' it's obvious. You're looking at her with heart eyes-" she said as she started counting with her fingers. "You hang out with her all the time, you're such a softie for her... It's just obvious that you like her. I felt it the moment I met her to be honest" she said

"like, obviously you've known lucas and the boys wayy before will and el came back to Hawkins and I never sensed that between you and lucas. It was only one sided. But i didn't want to say anything because I wasn't sure" she said

"But.. Ever since el came, I realised a completely different thing and it all made sense and it's totally fine" she said softly

"Are you implying that I'm a Dyke" I asked a bit defensive. Why was i being defensive. It's not that I've been questioning that for a while

"well duh? It's fine being a lesbian max, I-" she said as her voice broke. I began to look a bit worried about her. "I-I know how it feels max, that's why I'm telling you this"she said getting emotional

I felt tears in my eyes as my heart was beating fast talking about this subject. I looked away holding back tears. "max, look at me" Robin said softly. I finally looked at her.

"it's okay...i am a lesbian too and it's okay. No matter how much you hate yourself because of how people treat us but don't remember that. I've been through it too" she said

A tear fell as I wiped it away quickly. We weren't sitting close to others so people couldn't hear our conversation. "and i think you should tell lucas before it's too late, I mean. Don't tell him you're gay if you're not ready but at least just tell him you're not interested" Robin said

"yeah.. I don't want to hurt him... I just thought... Hanging out with him would change me.. But I guess not. I can't stop thinking about el. No matter how much i try" I said. She smiled sadly

"He even kissed me last night and I felt so bad that I didn't..." I said as i gulped fighting the urge not to cry. "that I didn't like it" I finished. "I get it.." she said grabbing my hand

1082 words. To be continued!
Hii. I'm in my village right now. I'm probably gonna stay for like two weeks so I don't know when I'll update but I'll see. It's not that I was updating much before and I'm sorry. Anyways how are you guys?