Indisputably Yours

Chapter 38

Six Years Later
Nebula's POV
****
Getting back home from work that day, I made it my mission to evade any and all humane interactions at all costs.

I made a beeline to my bedroom, not bothering with trivial things as greetings to anyone I came across. I was in a foul mood that much was clear.

For how long, I had absolutely no idea. There was only one thing I could think about doing at that moment. God, I hated myself for always giving into my weakness.

I knew getting high was not the way to solve my problems. It was merely a distraction. Nothing more.

I just wished Domino would never have to see me that way.

Why did he have to come back?! I was doing just fine without him!

Are you sure about that?!

God, just shut up already!

I took a joint out of the little box I still had and lit it using my lighter. I stood near my window as the cool evening breeze blew my hair out of my face.

Taking in a huge puff, I let it out as it was carried by the wind away from my face.

I knew smoking was bad for my health. But damn it if I gave a flying fuck about it. Besides, it was not like I was smoking everyday of the week.

Just on the days the stress really got to me.

I held my phone in my hands. My joint between my teeth. I scrolled endlessly, mindlessly through mine and Zeke's chats from a while back.

Call me stupid, to have pined and waited for a man for six damn years!

But love does that to you. It has a way of making you do things you never thought you'd do. Say things you never thought you'd say to anyone.

It had a way of giving you happiness for a while. But then, it's always short lived.

Just when you're at your happiest, something just always goes wrong. And love evades you.

Call me delusional, for actually thinking once, a lifetime ago, that him and I had hopes of having a future together. Just him and I.

That, despite my loss, I would finally have a win. Even though just one, but one that I would cherish and hold dear to me above all else.

Call me insane, for searching for six years for a person whom I had presumed dead. Only for him to waltz back into my life like he had never left me broken, drowning in despair, guilt and self loathing for holding myself responsible for his disappearance.

Thinking that maybe, just maybe, if my father's enemies weren't my own, then my heart wouldn't feel like it had been torn out of my chest.

Call me stupid, for loving too easily. For giving my heart freely. For loving unconditionally! Indisputably! And helplessly!

For till this day, my heart irrevocably beats for a man that I shall never have. A man that I can't have!

For he may have tried to hide it, but I saw the wedding band on his finger.

He took my heart.

He moulded it into a new one.

He showed me what it felt like to love.

What it felt like to be loved.

And then, at the crack of dawn, he gave my heart back to me.

Just when I thought he would be my forever, he crushed my heart with his bear hand.