The Last Chicane

Monaco GP

"Why am I so nervous?"

Max glared at me. "It's technically only your second race weekend. And given all of the shit that has happened between the first one and this one, I say it's okay to be nervous."

I chewed on my bottom lip.

"I just can't stop thinking about all of the ways that this could go wrong." I had thought out every single scenario possible on the flight over here. Max was kind enough to pay for my flight and got me first class. I had offered to pay him back, but of course he refused.

He places his hands on my shoulders, looking straight into my eyes.

"Stop thinking of all of the ways this could go wrong and start thinking about all of the ways this could go right. Okay? Take a deep breath. It is going to work out."

He didn't let go of my shoulders until I slowly nodded my head and took in a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before exhaling.

"Okay. Okay, you're right. I'll start thinking positive thoughts now." He raised his eyebrows at me, assessing if I was telling the truth or not. I gave him a small nod, the corners of my mouth tipping up. He finally nodded and let go of my shoulders.

We continued walking down the back of the paddock, away from the hustle of the crowd and media.

"Are you sure that it's okay that I stay in the RedBull motorhome..?" I hesitantly asked. "I don't want to be in the way."

Max chuckled at me. "I'm positive. You can stay in the lounge, there won't be anyone in there this weekend."

His smile faltered, I could tell that something was off.

"Are you... okay Max?" I tilted my head at him.

His eyes locked onto mine, I could see past his half smile. He was... sad.  "Like I said, there won't be anyone else in the lounge this weekend..."

Max broke eye contact, focusing on where we were walking.

Realization hit me.

"Oh my god Max, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say anything that would throw you off before the race." I blurted out.

He glanced at me. "It's okay, you didn't know."

I was quiet for a moment before I couldn't keep it in any longer. "Is it over or... just going through a rough patch...?"

Silence.

Just shut up already Blake. Don't mess with his head any more before the race-

"I'll let you know when I figure it out..." He mumbled.

We were quiet the rest of the way to the lounge. We had gotten to the paddock pretty early so I could hide from the cameras and a certain interviewer. Max showed me to the lounge, "Okay. Are you going to be okay in here?"

I nodded my head.  "I'm okay. Promise. You need to go finish warming up and prepping for the race."

I walked closer to him and wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him a little tighter than usual.

"I'm sorry Max. Good luck." I whispered, even though we were the only ones in the lounge.

He squeezed me back. "Thank you." He whispered.

__________________

I was a nervous wreck. Sitting on the edge of the couch in the lounge, my knees bouncing up and down.

Charles was on pole. He had managed to keep P1, with Carlos right behind him and Max trailing him and Lando was fourth. I was still learning about the strategy behind the races, but I highly doubted they would let Carlos fight Charles for pole. Carlos should be defending against Max for the remaining 8 laps. But none of that helped my nerves.