Because Of Her.

70 | Needy and selfish.

a bit of POV switching, enjoy!!! (⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠)

E V A N N A

I have no idea what was going on in my head. All I knew was I am with Liam right now and this is the first time I have no anger, no resentment and no past related incident swimming in my head. In this trip not only our self has changed but our dynamic from being able to stay in one room and not have our heads off has changed too. It's now being able to sit with both our legs around each other and hands on either side of our shoulder.

I was on his lap a week ago when I left a giant hickey but it was due to the challenge we partially started which made us dominate each other to see who will win. That time there was a purpose and a reason of being this close and being able to be intimately close.

But today, there was no reason. It was simply a need. Need of his touch and being able to touch him.

So when we're sharing about our life pieces from past I found myself sharing the breath that is thin between us. I could see his eyes and the way they're dilated. I didn't just say I was worried about not meeting Liam because it looked like he was far gone in his head that day where he called himself Philip. We didn't bring that incident that happened in class because if I do I know I might not even see him.  If he brings it up that will be good as it's related to him I was just someone who caught in midst between his internal battle but I can't bring it up as it might closed him off in way I don't want too.

Because right now I am seeing Liam, the old Liam which I used to share laughter with, closeness with and used to forgive about our qualms in matter.

I am staring at him until I no longer could take it and leaned down to meet the same familiar lips that I forgot the taste of.

But before I can even graze around his lips I see him distancing our lips by pulling back. Shocked that he pulled away when his face reflects want and his eyes that tell the story of how he wanted more, I stare at him with my lips part.

"I—wait...I—I need to ask you something before we do this." He says and it sounds like it takes alot of his strength to speak up due to how his chest is rising.

"Hm?" I gulp not trusting my voice because my hands are already bunching his shirt.

"Do you forgive me?" He asks breathing heavily. The sound of rain against our jeep is loud but our breathing can be heard too. We haven't done anything yet I can still hear our breathing.

"About what?"

"You know about what. If we are too do this, I want to know you forgive me. So do you forgive me?" He forces and just like that I find myself still on his hold. His eyes roam around my face,  watching me as if I am his target he cannot take his eyes off from.

I think maybe I am because he just asked me a question which we're just discussing about before and now he asked me.

I gulp thinking why he asked me this question, in my head at this moment.

"Why are you asking me this? Do you not want to kiss me?" I ask instead.

He breathes heavily and rubs his face looking troubled.

"Kiss you? Not just kiss you but I want to do more than that but I don't want to touch them knowing you don't forgive me." He says tracing my lips with his fingers.

L I A M

I did the mistake of kissing her that night when I saw her with that rich prick. I was fumed by jealousy and wanted to prove that she is mine that made me kiss her against her will. Although she did responded but it was a pity reaction, it wasn't natural like it should be. That day, those emotions of her was all fresh and I was an asshole in pushing myself onto her like that.