Because Of Her.

09 | Pain.

This chapter was hardest to write but I really enjoyed writing it so much. There's gonna be POV switching so you can see what's going in their life at the same time. Also if you heard epiphany by Taylor Swift and not the BTS one lol although to some extent it does sound fitting here but yeah Tay-tay...in her song there's this line...

Only twenty minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany
Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what you've seen.

(This seems so fitting in Liam's case idk if it's just me or my writer tingling ass who relates anything to them lol and thinks that but yeah go on and read and let me know and ohh also do tell me the songs which reminds you of Liam and Evanna or you know any song you like.)

L I A M

"Watch out motherfucker." A man with a hobo beard barks at me. I want to say something to him or better want to get out of my car and slam his black teeth on the wall but instead I drive away from him.

I am not at my best right now but I will one day and that day I will see you as you will still be lying in the same line of being alone. You will be alone and to pass your loneliness you will play these sick mean games but it won't be enough because you will never find someone who can fall in your trap unlike me who did fall but still thought of you instead of rescuing her so yes...you are the weak and pathetic one here.

Her words torture me in ways I feel like to hit my head on console. Her each and every word that flows out from her mouth creates a war in my head and the more I think about it, the more I feel like I couldn't breathe. The pain inside me is something I never feel, I did feel pain worse than this but this one seems infinite. Just like how infinite times her words keep on playing over and over in my head.

I know I messed up, I think messed up shouldn't even be used to define what I did to her like she said I didn't just play with her I play with her feelings, her trust. She has every right to be mad at me. Hell, I know what it feels like when something like this does happen with you but I didn't exactly play with her. For all the days I was with her, not once I played with her, I was myself.

You will be alone and to pass your loneliness you will play these sick mean games but it won't be enough because you will never find someone who can fall in your trap unlike me who did fall but still thought of you instead of rescuing her so yes...you are the weak and pathetic one here.

How much truth was behind her words I can't even fucking ignore it. She was right. I am the weak and pathetic one who couldn't man up in time to tell her everything that was going on. I know she thought what she heard is true but if only she could hear me with a fresh mind I am sure she would have understood but then again I can't blame her because I yet again ruin the chance she once gave me and now she don't want to hear me out, she made it clear she doesn't want anything with me.

I am not at my best right now but I will one day and that day I will see you as you will still be lying in the same line of being alone.

Her harsh words echo in my mind and I bite my knuckle. Never ever I thought I would hear this from her even when I know what I am doing behind her still I used to think once I will tell her she won't leave me that she would understand and forgive me because I have been true to her even though my intentions at first wasn't anything to have her close to me. Close, isn't even a word I can say here because the way she is in my system, made her way through is so deep that I can't even myself look. No matter what, she is the only person I look for but then again I don't have anyone in my life that could beat the intensity of my feelings towards her but now that same person has said to me how she will be happy one day and will forget about me.