Because Of Her.

06 | Forgiveness.

"Good morning. I decided to make breakfast today. Your first coffee of the morning." I say as I see Drake coming into kitchen yawning loudly.

"Mh." he mumbles something incoherent and sits down on the chair.

"You didn't sleep well last night?" he suddenly asks when I put down our breakfast on the table.

"I did."

"Don't lie. Your puffy eyes and those dark circles are saying otherwise." he comments and I gulp my coffee.

"Drake I have been crying for nearly two days now so definitely outcomes will not be bright eyes and rosy cheeks." I say and gesture him to start eating.

He eyes me before taking the fork cutting into his omelet. "I know. I am aware of your situation Anna but if you're not trying to forget about it you will end up living in past."

I look down at my plate as I chew on my food.

"I don't think so I can ever be able to live in past. The situation I am into and what I am living in...is my future." The future which was right in front of me.

"That's what you're talking yourself into. You can't make this your future, you can't just let a man waltzed in your life and let him ruin you..."

"He already did." I cut him off.

"I know and even though you knew his intentions. You're still practically helping him to ruin you. Yes he done the damage but it's up to you how far you're letting him affect you. I am not saying that you have to recover fast but you have to try...bit by bit." he advices and all I do is nod.

I understand his concern and I am so glad to have him with me someone who can check upon me, to prevent me from falling apart completely...even though I already am. But what he doesn't know is this isn't easy. My feelings are much deeper than the wounds Liam had gave me which is why it's difficult to breathe, to even feel when his words creates a riot in my head.

"I will try Drake. I want to forget about it too but...yeah I will try." I smile and he gives me a most comforting smile. I watch him as he eats his breakfast meanwhile I barely chew on my food.

When he was done he told me that he is going to shower and get ready for college since his zoology class is early today. I pick our plates and mugs from the table barely keeping them in the sink when nauseous hit me pretty fast and the bile arises. Before I could even make a run to the bathroom, I puke on the tiles. I shut the door quickly so Drake won't hear me and on the tap to drown out my gurgling noise. I heaved a sigh once nothing more surface in my mouth. Wiping my mouth I stand with the help of sink and look myself in the mirror. Two kind of mess reflecting there. One the mess on the floor and other staring right back at me.

I wash my face and brush my teeth's again before cleaning the floor. It's my fourth time of puking my guts out. Last night I emptied my stomach twice even though I barely ate. It was mostly fluids and this morning the little I eat is flushed down the toilet. My body feels weak and I support myself on the wall. As I stare ahead and catch my reflection, I start crying. Sobs wrecked through me and I try hard to keep myself low. Everything hurts but what hurts more is my chest, my heart that is hurting since last night. The cruelty of Liam again manages to tear me apart. This time, it was different.

I love you.

He had said...texted me. Those simple three words that I wanted to hear. He said them last night but he didn't mean it. He said it because I was ignoring him and to grasp my attention he decided to hit my weak nerve. I love him and here he is mocking me with his words.
To be honest, last night when I first read the text I can't deny the way a ray of hope illuminated within me but when I remember how he is and how he loves to play games more than playing with my feelings. The hope turned into sorrow and I had trouble breathing again because it's freaking hurts to know how he is so desperate for me to forgive him so he can continue his game and whatever pride he has, wins.