Because Of Her.

32 | ...is the reason my life.

Songs for this chapter :

Another Lonely Night by Adam Lambert

3am by Halsey.

All the screaming and shouting exhausts me and I don't even know how much time has pass since I am sitting here in this empty class. My head feels heavy and I feel sudden uncomfortness in my whole body as some of the rage is still inside me that I didn't get to let it out.

I wasn't thinking straight when I finally connected the dots and like a madwoman on mission I started my hunt for Liam. It took me more than thirty minutes to find him, I checked almost every possible place where I have seen him or where I thought he could be but this class wasn't in my head. If it wasn't some girl telling me about seeing Liam in class around Building D I would have never come across to him.

I am actually kind of surprised that I went off on him without breaking down like I usually do. I did cry but it wasn't because of him, it was due to Alan and his words, and his anger and how right he was about Liam. It was roaming in my mind that made those traitor tears fell on my cheeks. I am glad that I didn't let Liam see me cry once again, I hide it properly and even if I didn't and even if he thinks those tears were because of him then do heck with his thinking process.

I should have known beforehand though when I first saw the mess on canvas. I should have known who could be behind it when I let those precious works of ours reside in the devil's den. Back when I was all about trusting on Liam I never once thought I would see this day.

For the first time in my life I was confident about something, maybe alone I could never be but with Alan by my side, I was. He is good and because of him I tried by hundred percent but one where I should have focused on more other than my work I didn't. I didn't focus on the person whom I blindly trusted, I didn't focus on the past of how I met Liam, and I didn't focus on the history that connects several people.

Alan was right I don't know anything about people whom I surround myself with well surrounded. Even after the repetitive red flags I still ignored them and thought of the hope that is not in that man's heart. He is not capable of changing because he is a lost case.

I know I shouldn't be surprised that he once again did the same, I should have seen it coming since he is not over with this stupid revenge, at this point I had say he is not doing all this due to some sort of revenge, he is doing all this because he is obsessed with me, he is obsessed seeing how I can break in different ways.

I had the urge to slap him but I control my urges and reminded myself that I can't let history repeat itself. I can't give him any reason where he can crash into my life again. I finally made myself clear that night and although I did think that would be the last where I would ever let my emotions down in front of him but my life has moment where it surprises me. But this time I am not disappointed in myself because I handle it well, I let him see my emotion, emotion of anger which I will choose every damn time over crying.

The surprise and the way his cautious eyes watched me told me that he wasn't expecting that I could ever go off like this but he was the one who crossed the line the minute he picked the brush and made the first stroke in ruining our hard work. He had the audacity to justify himself when he agreed he ruined it. He is making it harder for me to hate him because I don't know how much more I can hate him.

I am so sick of this, finding at every damn path a new twist which Liam already knew before or done before and I am the one that had to meet with serious repercussions. How can a person even think that long, scheme something that big? Doesn't there conscience knocks down the mind of filth where it hold all the plans they are waiting to unfold?