𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐒 | 𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬

72| Change.

72 | Change.

| Sage's POV |

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"What happened between you two?" Maddy asked, sitting down beside me.

I leaned my head back against the tree, my eyes closing. "What makes you think something happened?"

"Well," she sighed, "after the wedding, you told me you two were doing good. Really good, actually. He was the only thing you'd talk about for weeks. Then, the night before you left, you suddenly stopped. And then I didn't hear his name for the rest of the summer. So, based off that, I'm taking a wild, shocking, utterly unbelievable guess that something happened."

I laughed, the noise sounding more like a soft sniffle. "I said some things, Maddy. Some really, really bad things. So did he." I felt her head lean onto my shoulder, her hand grabbing mine.

"Do you think he meant any of it? Everything he said, everything he did?"

She took a moment before responding. "Do you think he did?"

I debated her words, my instinctive response was no, a thousand times no, but I stopped myself. "I think he wants to care about me, I really think he does. But he doesn't know how to, you know? Jess isn't the type of person I'm used to, he didn't grow up the way I'm used to, he wasn't taught the same things as me. The constant arguing, the expecting everyone to leave, and randomly disappearing is just how he's grown up. I don't think any of its his fault, or either of ours for that matter. I didn't know how to understand him—hell, I still don't." I mumbled.

"Maybe that isn't a bad thing? Whatever happened might've been good for you guys, even if it didn't seem like it. I've seen him a few times with that girl. He isn't happy, not the way he was with you. She's fun for him, they're both just using even other, it's obvious. But I think you both need time away from each other." Maddy explained, her hand running through my hair.

"But we've already tried that—"

"No, not really." I sighed, knowing what she was going to say, but really not wanting to hear it. "You guys were friends, that's not being away from each other, Sage. You took the short cut. You knew neither of you were ready, but both of you didn't want to let go. And, unfortunately, I don't think thats good enough."

Her words felt like gunshots. Like a million little needles injecting poison into my veins, like her hand ramming into my chest, pulling out my heart, and crumpling it into a million little pieces. I wanted to tell her no, I wanted to say she was wrong. And at the beginning of the summer? I would have. Even halfway through, or even before I came back. My immediate response would've been no, always no.

And the thing that hurt the most now was that I knew she was right.

After seeing him with her, I knew. I couldn't be around him anymore, it wasn't good for either of us. If I had any hope over ever being in his life again, I needed to change. And so did he.

I wasn't going to force him too, or even ask. If he wanted to, he would.

And if he didn't? Then that was fine. I could understand that. But regardless of him, I needed to be better for me. I needed to focus on my school, on my life, on the mess going on between my mom and my dad, and any residual feelings I may have from past experiences involving them. I needed to grow up. Not for him, or my parents, or anyone else. But for me.

I was finally done being scared of my future, and worrying about my past. I was so tired of being afraid of a possible version of me. I was just done.

I felt myself nod, raising my head. I met Maddy's eyes, a small smile on her face.

"I'm here for you, Sage."

I nodded, my heartbeat slowing. "Thank you, Maddy."

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