𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕥 𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕕𝕚𝕖𝕤

02 : rainy days

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On the same day that Nabi left the hospital, she went straight to her workplace. It was a small, relatively unknown café, but its warmth and friendliness made it stand out among the many cafés in Seoul.

This café was her first job, and she was determined to keep it. She needed the money more than anything else. Without her parents, the burden of paying her hospital bills fell solely on her shoulders. The job needed to be something she could physically manage, given her small, frail body weakened by her illness.

If she were honest, her doctor, Mr. Min, would never allow her to work, not even for a few hours. He feared the strain on her ailing body would only make her condition worse. But Nabi had no choice; she needed to pay the bills, and no one else could do it for her.

Despite knowing her condition could worsen, she found solace in her work. It was better than lying in bed all day, consumed by thoughts of what she could be doing if not for her pulmonary fibrosis. Nabi wanted to make the most of her remaining time, even if it meant the disease progressed faster than she desired.

As she walked to work, the sky was dark, and rain poured down steadily. People hurried past with umbrellas, while others used their bags as makeshift shields against the downpour. But Nabi didn’t mind the rain. In fact, she loved it. She found it soothing to watch the raindrops and the dark clouds drifting over the city. There was a melancholic beauty in the gloomy weather that she appreciated.

The café was rarely crowded, even on rainy days when people sought refuge in warm, dry places. The regulars were familiar faces. There was an elderly man with a beard and his wife who came in frequently. They didn’t talk much, but their quiet companionship spoke volumes. Nabi noticed their worn wedding rings, suggesting a long, enduring relationship.

She brought them their usual order of strawberry cake, which they always shared. "Child, you look so pale. Are you all right?" the woman asked, genuine concern in her eyes. Nabi usually radiated happiness, but today she couldn’t muster it.

"You need the cake more than we do," the man said, trying to hand it back to her. Nabi shook her head with a smile. "It's all right."

As time passed, Nabi felt weaker. She glanced at the clock, knowing her shift was almost over. Leaving early would hurt her pride; she wanted to control her life, not let her illness dictate her actions. But her strength was failing. While putting away the dishes, a glass and plate slipped from her hands, shattering on the floor. The noise drew the attention of her co-worker and the customers.

She felt a pang of guilt as she looked at the mess. She always tried to do her best, yet her body often betrayed her. While her co-worker cleaned up, Nabi greeted a new customer. She rarely looked people in the face, finding it uncomfortable. But something about this person piqued her interest. She looked up to see a boy, drenched from the rain.

"Please wait a moment," she said, handing him a towel to dry off. The boy looked at her, surprised but grateful. "Thank you," he said, a slight smile on his lips. Nabi watched him sit down and dry his hair first, an unusual choice.

As she refocused on her tasks, her thoughts kept drifting back to the boy. Who was he? Why was he here? Her classmates would find it uncool to hang out in such a quiet place. Maybe that’s why she found him interesting. Sometimes, a small gesture or a simple smile was enough to capture attention.

Her work kept her busy, and thoughts of the boy faded. As she left the café, the elderly couple waved goodbye through the window. She always enjoyed seeing them, their enduring love a poignant reminder of what she longed for.

She thought about their wedding rings and felt a pang of longing. Nabi wished she could experience love, something she had never felt. She yearned for someone to share her life with, someone who would care for her despite her illness. But who would want to be with someone so clearly marked by death?

This wish, like many others, was pushed to the back of her mind. She continued walking, her eyes catching sight of the boy again, smiling at his phone. His cat-like eyes and dimples captivated her, a rare moment of beauty in her bleak existence.

But reality crashed down on her. Her chest tightened, each step becoming more painful, making it hard to breathe. She didn’t want to feel this pain anymore; she just wanted a normal life.

Back home, she collapsed onto her bed, listening to the rain hitting her window like hail. Normally, she would have eaten something, but the sight of food made her nauseous. Besides, it was already too late for dinner, giving her another excuse to avoid it.

Instead, she changed into her cozy teddy bear pajamas and settled on the couch. Nabi loved watching K-dramas and playing on her PlayStation, but tonight, she felt like diving into a new series. She scrolled through her list, her eyes landing on "W-Two Worlds Apart." It had been on her watch list forever, but she always found an excuse to postpone it. She often ended up re-watching her favorite series, especially on rainy days like this.

She decided to give it a chance. The first few episodes captivated her, and before she knew it, she was hooked, watching late into the night. For a while, she forgot about school the next day, lost in the world of the drama.

Morning came too quickly, and she felt the weight of exhaustion from the sleepless night. She dragged herself out of bed, her body protesting every movement. She managed to get ready and left for school, each step feeling heavier than the last.

At school, she tried to keep a low profile, avoiding unnecessary interactions. She couldn't help but think about the boy from the café. His image kept popping into her mind, and she wondered if she would ever see him again.

During lunch, she sat alone, watching other students laughing and chatting. She envied their energy, their seemingly carefree lives. She wished she could join them, but her illness had isolated her. The physical pain and the constant reminder of her mortality weighed heavily on her.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
I will try to write better. 🫶🏼

Thanks for reading! 🦋