Don't Let Me Go (Book 1)

Chapter 84

In less than an hour, we were driving into the open field. The beach. Nothing has changed, well, I haven't gone for long to expect much change. I got out of the car, taking my shoes off immediately to feel the sand and the cold breeze against my skin. If only I wore something lighter than a hoodie. I miss this place. Peaceful as always. '' I miss it here'' I let out loud, turning around to see Logan leaning against his car with a cigarette between his lips, he put his hand in his pocket and took out a lighter. I watched quietly as he lit the cigar, took in the smoke and let it out. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow almost immediately

'' Why are you smiling like that'' If he hadn't asked, I wouldn't have realised. I shrugged, walked up to him while maintaining my smile

'' Bad habits do not drop easily'' I say when I finally stood in front of him and he smiled as well

'' Is that why you are smiling''

'' No, I couldn't help but admire how Damn good looking you are... even if I hate guys that smoke'' His smile dropped

'' You never told me you did'' I saw worries in his eyes. Silly boy, thinks I hate him because he smokes. I look away from him

'' At first, it annoyed me, but at a point, I felt ok with it. It's a different feeling when it's you'' a small smile grew on his lips

'' Do I look hot?'' Undeniably

'' Why do you smoke?'' avoiding his question

'' I don't know honestly'' his gaze dropped to the cigar in between his fingers, and he lifted it to analyse '' It started as a fun thing and along the line, I got addicted I think. Used it to release stress, get high and forget everything... I use it to escape reality''

'' Are you stressed now?'' He looks away from the cigar to me, meeting my gaze. Damn, I miss those eyes '' What is on your mind?'' we fell into a long silence. Logan bent down to crush the cigar in the sand, he got back up and put it in his pocket.

'' You are leaving tomorrow?'' Breaking the silence and it took me a while to respond

'' Yeah'' forcing a smiled

'' From the silence you gave Bianca earlier, it seems like you wouldn't be coming back.... am I...am I wrong?''

'' Yeah,'' my heart ached and the cold breeze suddenly became heavy. Logan scratched his hair back and forth as he pushed himself away from the car covering more space between us.

'' Well that wouldn't be an issue... we should just plan our the university we should both attend that way we would...''

'' Logan...'' I cut him off, raising my head to look at him '' that wouldn't be necessary Logan'' we fell into silence.

'' What...what do you mean?'' confusion in his gaze

'' Logan.......'' feeling gravely pained at what I was about to say. But I had to say it '' We... we are not back together Logan and you know that'' All the colour in his face drained. Hurt in his beautiful electric blue eyes

'' Maria...''

'' Logan '' I cut him off, turning around to walk away. I can't stand being that close to him, he had a very strong effect on me. '' I came today... because I wanted to end this, end it the proper way, Logan''

'' Maria don't do this... Maria it is all over now, My father is in prison now, Maria we can...''

'' Logan we can't.... Yes, it all ended but that doesn't mean we will work Logan..... And you know why... you know why we wouldn't work'' Logan's gaze dropped to the ground. I walked to him, reaching for his face. I lift his face to look into his eyes '' Logan''