Shattering My Memories

56

Amelia's POV 

I sat crisscross on the bed while staring at the stars. The door softly opened and closed before a presence settled behind me. Lara wrapped her arms around my waist and leaned her chin on my shoulder. She pulled me, so my back was pressed against her front. Lara moved my hair to the side and started placing gentle kisses along my neck.

"Lara." I shifted, prompting her to stop. "I need to tell you something."

"Hmm... more important than me pleasuring you?" She kissed under my chin.

"Uh..." I nearly got lost in the sensation, but snapped out of it. "Stop!" She immediately froze and backed away. "No, not like that." I grabbed her wrist. "Sorry. I just need to talk to you." I gulped.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't mean for you to... damn it." I hissed.

"I'm sorry if I pushed myself on you. That wasn't my intention at all-"

"Lara, there's nothing I want more than to have sex with you." I cut her off. "I just can't."

"Why not?"

"Because..." I felt tears in my eyes. "Because I have to be honest with you." My voice cracked.

"You're scaring me."

"Lara, I... you were gone and it was so hard. And we reconnected, but didn't get along and I was so hurt. And this isn't an excuse-"

"Mila-"

"I slept with Carla!" I burst into tears.

I covered my face and cried. I kept crying and finally had the courage to look up since Lara hadn't said a word. I gulped and saw her stoic eyes. I gulped and nervously stared at her.

"Well?" I stuttered.

"Okay." She simply said.

"Ok?" I was stunned.

"Okay." She reiterated.

"That's it?" I turned to fully face her. "You're just... 'okay'?" I was perplexed. "You're not angry or anything?!"

"I'm not pleased to be honest."

"You're just... no emotion? Aren't you furious and... and... why are you so calm?!"

"You wish for me to scream? What will that accomplish? The act has already been committed."

"But-"

"I slept with others." Lara deadpanned. I had to take a deep breath to control my jealousy since I didn't have a right. "You did the same thing."

"You..." I took a moment to properly observe her. "You're being dishonest about your feelings. I can tell. You're putting on a mask to hide your hurt-"

"I fucked a lot of girls." I squeezed my fists at her candor. "But, I have never fucked someone you were enemies with. Or even worse, murdered you." Lara robotically spoke. "I will never raise a hand to you or berate you. But, I am displeased."

"Lar-"

"You should rest. We have war strategies to go over tomorrow." She stood up.

"La-"

"We can discuss this another time. Goodnight, Amelia."

I felt a pan in my heart at her not calling me Mila. Lara then left the room and allowed me time to become well acquainted with guilt. I hugged the pillow close and silently cried. This is so bad. I'm so sorry, Lara.