Heart Of A Saint, Life Of A Sinner

Chapter Fifty:

Austin's POV:

"Why am I suddenly getting de ja vu?" "We were here the first time I went away for Japan; we sort of always just got away from everyone." "What a skill!" the sky looked as if it were about to storm the clouds as dark as my heart; I could never get used to Issac leaving. My whole heart he filled will be empty once again, and I will no longer have him in my life. "Come on, don't be so morbid. I will come over for the holidays, and we will, I promise, call every night and talk about everything. I don't want to miss a part of your life." I felt as if there was a lump in my throat.

I had to be strong for him for us; his parents are still uneasy about us keeping contact, but we came up with an agreement: "I know we will; it just won't be the same, you know; why don't you live on the farm with me and we can be gay farm boys together?" He laughed at me, pulling his arm around me closer. "I'm serious, Issac." "I know you are, but I have to go. I wish we could live that dream, but not yet." I couldn't let him study at a university far away from us; it would be holding him back, but I don't know if I'll be able to handle the distance. "Let me just deal with everyone on my own." You have friends to keep in line, and bet I want to hear all about Max and Trevor." "Don't kid me with that; you hate my friends." "Yes, I do, but you love them."

The time to go was inching near; we got to the airport fairly early to kill time as well as spend the remaining time together. I stared at Isaac, his black hair all slicked back and his ocean eyes that drew me every time I stared. I will miss him more than I know, with my heart breaking into tiny pieces every time the thought came to mind. Drops of rain started to fall on our heads before pouring down shower storms; we hurried inside, grabbing his bags. "Are you sure you should fly in this weather?" "I guess it's just unlucky, but I have to leave today." Our family was waiting for us. My dad was holding my flowers. I picked them up from my mother's garden handing me them "Well," Isaac said, taking his roses from my hand. "What an icebreaker, right?" he said jokingly.

"Have a safe trip. I hope the weather does not affect the flight." "Yeah, and call us if you need anything, alright?" My mom and dad said. "I will thank you," he turned to face his parents, who weren't all that worried or upset about his travel; ever since the house, they made the atmosphere so somber and awkward that it was extremely difficult to get a word to them; as well as getting the biggest death stare from his father. Well, at least we know where he got it from. They weren't as emotional as we thought; instead, they held his hand and hugged him goodbye, with his father telling him not to let him down.

The final call was made. I could feel tears brimming in my eyes, and the lump in my throat grew wider and wider, making it difficult to utter a word. Issac noticed my state, making him mirror my expression. "Thank you, babe," he said. "Get there safe." I barely spoke to him, but he understood, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight. I held tighter. I could feel him try and pull away, but I didn't let him. "Austin," he whispered, "let go". Tears now stained his jacket, leaving my face a mess of tears and snot as he started walking towards the terminal.

My feet shoved to the car, my eyes burning from the tears making me blind; I was quiet, my parents giving me the space to grieve his absence; I took out my phone and searched his contact, texting him, 'I remain hopeful in the absence of a promise' the weather scared me with the flight. I trusted the airline, but the fear of anything happening kept me frantic. "Hey, how about we stop to eat out tonight and get your mind off it?" "I don't want my mind off it; I want to think about it," my tone was harsh, and the car was quiet again. "He will come back; he is not in another country. At least Yashrio left first."

My mom was right. Yashrio was gone before Isaac left three days earlier; during those three days, it felt like heaven to not be bothered by him, having peace in our peace. He was terrified to come back and to never mess with us again, so the video was taken down and deleted from everyone's phone. When we reached home, I went straight to my room, collapsing on the bed. My eyes filled with tears once again, and my arms gripped my pillow. As I moved my pillow, I felt paper. Confused, I lifted the pillow to see what it was—a letter. Curious, I picked it up to find it written by Issac for me.

'Don't be sad when I'm gone; I know you're crying on your pillow. I won't be gone for long, my love, and I can not wait to see you again. I wish you happy days while I am gone, and please do not miss me; I don't want you to be sad. I am always thinking of you and sending you good thoughts. I love you, Austin; I always have. love Issac'

I smiled, holding the note; it gave my chest the warmth it needed on this melancholy day. I couldn't help the tears falling and staining the paper I folded and placed under my pillow to read over and over whenever I needed it, and I will remember that I have someone waiting for me and I am waiting for him.