Heart Of A Saint, Life Of A Sinner

Chapter Thirty Nine

Austin's Pov:

"How is this helping me study for English?" "I need to let go of all my frustration, math and business were subjects I really couldn't handle" I threw a punch at the dirty red punching bag Max was standing behind keeping it in place "Look I know that's not the reason you dug up this old thing" "What do you mean?" "I get we haven't hung out in a while cause of Iris and Issac, but the sudden shift in the atmosphere with them is suspicious" "Suspicious How?" "Stop for a second"

I relaxed my arms letting them fall to my sides; I was panting like a dog grabbing a damp towel and throwing it over my neck my sweat dripped down my hair onto my face creating a glaze of oil coating myself "You stink" I couldn't give back a snarky remark instead I just flicked him off "Austin what happened between you and Iris?" I turned to him, and he walked over and took a seat next to me on the bed staring at me.

"I need to tell you something" I could feel my heart start to beat faster the same anxiety and panic I've been feeling talking to people. This marathon within myself has been going on for longer than it should, but Max matters so much to me telling him this could break our entire friendship and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if the way I am is the reason everyone around me leaves.

"Please tell me" "Promise not to freak out or run away okay?" He nodded his head Max knew exactly when I was serious and playful "I loved Iris for the person she was for me while Issac was gone and she's cute and funny and just the best girlfriend ever, but after Issac came back I realized that my heart belonged to another. It belonged to Issac and I fought myself with how I felt I didn't understand until I saw how he struggled with Yashrio and his family I realized that I had feelings for him that made me pull away from Iris and things got so complex that I didn't know what to do"

I dragged my hand over my face staring at the ground I couldn't look him in the eye "Eventually Yashrio caught on to us and showed Iris and it was my fault for not ending things sooner and letting things get so bad for both of them; that I had to face her and tell her I am in love with Issac and we're dating now so things are great, but things are not great"

I felt tears brimming in my eyes from this; I glanced at Max to see if he was still next to me listening "So you're gay?" "I'm bisexual" he was quiet "I know that's not something you want to hear from me it's disgusting, pathetic and I'm such a sinner for everything I've done" I couldn't help the tears fall down my face the air in my lungs stuck and swollen.

"You're not" he finally spoke "You were confused and dealing with not only your problems, but everyone else's which I don't get because you're already so strong on your own" I didn't speak "What happened with Iris?" "Everyone knows I popped my cherry with Iris and we suddenly broke up, no one asked why only a few sad looks but nothing more. She knows about us and she'll keep it to herself until we're out and ready for everyone"

Max nodded I felt his hand stroke my back up and down "Issac has been going through the most his dad had an affair and he caught them, his mistress is Trevor's new girlfriend so there was this huge conflict at the camp which I'm glad I resolved" I took a breath "Max I'm tired of everyone and their problems, but I can't help them when they mean so much to me and I'm sorry I didn't pay enough attention to you; I am sorry" I wiped my tears away. Max didn't say anything he stared at me before sighing while wrapping his arms around me holding me tightly.

"Thank you for telling me and I'm sorry I didn't give you enough attention I just thought I'd give you space with Issac because, you haven't seen him in a while and you know Iris" I buried my face in his arms "I can't tell you how sorry I am that you went through hell with everyone and no one helped you, but I'm here for you now" I rubbed all my sweat tears and snot on him laughing to myself at how angry he'd be when he noticed "Thank you Maxine" "Don't say my full name like that you know I hate it" We laughed before he broke away from the hug "Now I'm full of sweat" "I too want to take a shower together and get cleaned up?" "I will fucking break your spine" "I'm just joking"

We stood up in sync I gave him another hug patting his back "I love you" "I love you too man and know I'm here for you" "I know and on that note where were you at camp?" He broke away looking everywhere but me "Who's the lucky lady? You better tell me "You don't know her" "Doesn't matter tell me or I'll use you as my punching bag" "Ugh fine; there's this girl in another class her name is Rose and she's just a whole ball of sunshine so pure so happy"

"You have to introduce me Max" "Haha I will how's Issac doing since you're with me today" "He's in a better space much more relaxed well I think so, but less stressed" "I saw him smoke a lot of weed on camp" "It was all Trevor I blame him for it, but Issac swore off that stuff so I'm glad" Max smiled at me walking out my room back to the study where our work awaited us.