Heart Of A Saint, Life Of A Sinner

Chapter Twenty Seven

Issac's pov

Supper with the Carsons was nothing compared to what supper with my family would be, laughter among everyone's jokes and even stories of the day. It felt like family; I just wish that would reflect in my own house.

"Oof, I'm stuffed," Austin said as he flopped on his bed, rubbing his stomach. "It was sublime," I said, sitting on the mattress beside his bed. Austin turned over and faced me. "So, shall we tell each other gossip stories about boys like girls do?" Austin placed himself on his stool with his hands supporting his head. "What are we, a bunch of girls? of course not." I got my pillow and collided it with his face, earning only laughter from him. "Oh, come on, don't you think about guys?" I raised an eyebrow. "Why ask such a question?" "I mean, like Max and Hayden, how are they?" My mind went to places it should not have gone, thinking he thought I liked males.

Such a strange thought but, after thinking about Austin in that manner, it wasn't something I'd ever thought about more than once; the only problem was courage. "I guess they're alright studying for the most part, unlike you, who is lazy and can't do math." The pillow was thrown back at me, except I knew how to catch it. "Oh, shut it." We laughed and talked about anything and everything that came to mind before we knew it, it got later and later "Hey if you're uncomfortable on the floor, you can come in bed with me." "Carson, are you inviting me to bed with you?" "What no!" "So you were lying to me?" Austin growled in frustration, actually pulling his hair out.

"I'm kidding; sure, I'll take you up on that offer; it's cold down here." Without any hesitation, I got up and pulled his blankets open, placing myself next to him. It felt weird to be this close to him; the lights were off and the only light was the moon shining through the window. He was facing me; our breathing was intertwined, and our eyes were on each other before mine moved to his lips.

Oh no, I did it. My heart was beating so fast that I don't think I've ever been this nervous being so close to him. In a second it felt like my body moved on its own, inching closer to him. Austin could only keep his eyes on me, not moving. I didn't know what I was doing, but whatever it was, it felt so natural that I refused to do anything else "Issac," he whispered, waking me up from my trans. My eyes widened before realizing that his sudden voice caught me off guard; it was deeper than usual.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked more concerned about me than himself I couldn't help but smile, "I'm perfect here next to you" he smiled, "Good" Not another word was shared as we stared at each other before his eyes grew close until his hazel eyes were gone, every part of me wanted to move, wanted to go closer to him but, all of a sudden I couldn't move I  froze, why is he making me feel these things I haven't felt before? Why am I nervous? Why am I frozen when I can just move like I did a second ago? Why is this so difficult?

Before I knew it, he turned around, leaving me the view of his back, damnit! Why was I so slow? Why am I such a coward? If I'm a coward at home, why should I be one here with him? fuck it. I moved upward, over the blankets, and a cold breeze blew over us, causing him to turn around and look at me. "What's wrong?" His voice was so gentle that he got up, looking me in the face with concern in his eyes. I couldn't speak; I couldn't say it; I couldn't confess to him; I couldn't tell him I liked him and go to sleep, not after what he said: I-." Before I knew it, he moved so quickly that it caught me off guard; almost falling off the bed, his lips were pressed against mine.

I couldn't believe what he just did. I couldn't believe what was happening. He pulled away, breathing slightly heavily, as I did the same. "Did I forget a goodnight kiss?" I couldn't believe he was still making jokes at a time like this, but that kiss was amazing. I couldn't let that be it, so I pressed my lips back on his without hesitation. He kissed back, our lips moving in sync as I towered over him. I felt his hands roaming my arms up and down; he moved up, making me push up and pull back from it. "What are we doing?" I asked, running a hand through his hair. The reality set as we stared at each other for a while. We just kiss twice and say nothing. I needed an explanation as to what he was thinking. "Issac," Austin called, taking my arms and pulling them from my head, "breath." In an instant, all the air in the room filled my chest, and I could breathe.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I just..." "Issac" "What?" I felt tears brim in my eyes "I like you too" he smiled a toothy grin "What?" I was beyond confused "I kind of had a small crush on you since well forever and since you seemed to hate me I just thought it would never happen but, what you've been through these past weeks and how you've felt I wish I saw it sooner to tell you how I feel, heck I don't even know how you feel"

Our lips crashed into each other, moving in sync once again "I like you a lot Carson more than you can imagine. His hands were on my hand, his fingers trailing my spin, and I could feel my pants grow tighter the heat of the kiss unlocked this unfamiliar feeling yet it felt so much like a memory. His hands slipped into my shirt, feeling my bare back. The cold touch of his fingertips made me gasp, giving me access to my open mouth. His tongue slid in. He tasted every part of my mouth; our tongues were rubbing each other. I loved it. He slipped my shirt off, revealing my bare chest. He stared at me for a moment, taking in the sight. His hand ran across my nipples, causing me to moan at the touch. "Do it again," I said. I felt embarrassed; I couldn't imagine how red my face was right now. His hands were traveling, exploring my body as if he'd only seen it for the first time. "You've lost so much weight," he said before bringing his lips to my stomach and kissing it.

He moved me down on the bed, only now he was on top of me. He took off his shirt, moving his hair out of the way. "Only if you want this, I'll stop if you're not okay." This idiot didn't hear me say I was perfect next to him; words were no longer needed. Instead, I brought my lips to his. That was my answer.