Heart Of A Saint, Life Of A Sinner

Chapter Thirty Three

Isaacs pov:

Austin left me alone in his room; his parents were out with mine for some end-of-the-year business meeting. After my life has gone to shit I stopped caring about the family business and its wellness. In the end, it would not be in my favor because Austin's family would also be in trouble however; it wasn't something I could care about nothing seemed important anymore.

Austin said he loved Iris. The whole conversation played over and over in my head, I was relieved that it wasn't going to be spread around the school which would cause the biggest scandal that was not needed as of right now. "Hey, how are you holding up?" Austin came in shutting the door behind him he sat down beside me his gaze on me; I couldn't look at him instead my eyes was everywhere but on him "Will you please tell me what's going on, I know everything was a lot right now but; I need you to talk to me"

He placed his hand on mine gripping it tightly "I don't know what to do if you don't tell me Issac" I sighed pondering where to even start "I don't want to be near that woman, I don't think I'll be able to control myself around her" Austin nodded brushing the hair out of my face I was painted with sweat not bothering to change when we arrived "Got it I will be your bodyguard she won't come in a two-meter radius from you" "Carson you suck at math do you even know how long that is" "Don't be ugly" "Sorry"

I brushed my hand over my head trying my best to collect my disheveled thoughts "You said you loved Iris" He was quiet "It made me think I stole you away or that I'm the reason you guys broke up and, I'm the problem in your love life but I-" I turned to look at him puffy eyes and a frog in my throat "I love you Austin" His expression mirrored mine "And I know it's selfish, it's unholy, it's not what was supposed to happen our family would keep us apart I would be sent away again and I wouldn't see you but, Austin I love you so much that Iris was... she was making me so confused I can't. I can't Austin"

I buried my face in my palms tears were pouring out faster than I could wipe away "Issac" his hands were placed on my should slightly shaking me "Issac look at me" I tilted my head slightly "I love you too" "liar" Austin stood up and bent down in front of me "I do love Iris for the person she was for me when you weren't here, I love her for being my friend. I'm sorry she had to take your time of me and turn it into a colorful mess of grey emotions you can't feel"

I smiled to myself his poetry had gotten better his words had soul in them "Issac I've loved you since the day you left and I couldn't see your annoying face anymore, not at church; not at school; not in my house being nosey. And now I get to find out my best friend is my lover-" "You said you love Iris-" "I love her as the person she is to me our relationship ended; not because of bad blood or you, Yashrio yes but, because she knew I loved her in the wrong place" I slapped his hand off my shoulder "You know what I mean" I stayed quiet looking away "Please say you understand"

"I understand but, what does your love mean to me right now, Iris am I filling her love with my selfish desires" "You've had a place in my heart ever since we were little and nothing could take that away Iris... was a wonderful experience but, also a pain because now I was dumped and also for the better cause now we can't be a secret well a lesser secret"

"We can't!" I proclaimed "I can't let people know I'm-" "Otherwise inclined?" I looked at him "I'm serious" Austin sat down his knees must have given up on him "Well let's break it down, do you fancy girls?" "Not really" "Do you want to go down on a girl and eat her pussy?" "I'll throw up" "But you'd suck my dic-" "Alright Carson yes then I'm gay okay there I said it... I like boys. Why do I like boys?" I shook my head a growing headache was emerging, out of every conversation we had, this was the most stressful.

"There's nothing wrong with it; I romantically like you and I like girls romantically?" "So you're bisexual?" he shrugged his shoulders like he does sometimes looking at me smiling as if everything we okay. I didn't feel any better I felt less awful "Please don't ask" I whispered. I didn't know what I was saying, but from the look on his face I could sense he knew what I meant "The forbiddances of a fruit makes even a lemon taste sweet" "Shut up Carson" "It's a quote from Mokokoma Mokhonoana" "Yes I'm aware"

Austin got up and started searching for something in his wardrobe he began taking clothes out; towels; underwear and a toothbrush "I don't know about you Mellow; but I need a shower after today's match" I saw the layout of clothes he threw the clean ones on the bed enough for two people "Was I cool? Did I play well" he asked mockingly showing off his muscles "You're built like a pretzel" "Piss off" I laughed at him being offended, he was one to take physical strength and workouts serious no jokes allowed in that department "You were good very sexy, sweaty and all" I smiled at him.

He came over to me, his hand reached for my cheeks pulling my face upwards his lips inches closer and closer until there was no space left. I kissed back. Nothing felt better than a kiss from him nothing in the world could compare, he pulled away his eyes were staring so deep into mine I thought he had gotten lost in them "Are you going to join me?" His eyes motioned to the door "I'd be a complete idiot to pass out the offer" Austin grabbed me by surprise lifting me over his shoulder "Carson put me down now!" "Nope," The shower in question was one of steam.