Heart Of A Saint, Life Of A Sinner

Chapter twenty nine

Issac's pov

Ah crap, I forgot my charger at his house. I should get it; the bus hasn't arrived yet, and I bet he'll enjoy seeing my face again. The walk shouldn't be long, and maybe I was a bit hard on him. I mean, sure, we... Oh gosh, I can't even bring myself to say we had sex. Great job, me. I popped my cherry with my best friend if I can even call him that anymore.

I wish I hadn't made things so complicated, but I couldn't hold back how I felt any longer; he made me feel at peace and made me feel like I belonged somewhere, even if it was his home. I didn't mean to ruin his relationship, I hope he didn't also take it to heart and spill the beans to Iris and now I have the feeling to apologize to her, oh wait no I shouldn't apologize for having sexual intercourse with her boyfriend.

Agh, this is giving me a headache. I'm almost there anyway. I just need to go in, get my charger, maybe apologize, leave, and go home to sort out the mess. My cheeks felt better since Austin took care of them, but why would he even like me? It's not like he ever mentioned it, and he is in love with Iris. Ugh, and I'm such an idiot for kissing him and being all over him, cause, well, I'll say it. I like Austin. I like him. I wish he wasn't with Iris so we could be together. Plus, Yashrio might have also turned me gay because, well, he kissed me to death. I just like how kind and nice and supportive he is.

By the time I got to his house, I was still so deep in thought that I didn't even realize coming in without knocking and going all the way up he's stairs opening the door surprised he didn't hear the creeks nor the door open he must not be here or he's blasting music in his ears "Hey I'm here again I just forgot my charger I'll leave-" I opened the door, revealing the most gut-wrenching sight ever. "Ahh!" "Ah shit shit." I closed the door as quickly as I could. "Sorry, I'm so sorry." I dashed to the door, getting away from this place as fast as possible. "Wait, Isaac," don't tell me this idiot is following me when; he was railing against his girlfriend. Carson, stop!" I said, walking out the door.

"I can explain." "Explain what? You're having sex with your girlfriend because that's so normal. I just didn't mean to interrupt." I kept going, ignoring him. "Look, I didn't think she'd want to do this. I was only doing it for her. I know I'm an idiot, but will you please listen?" "No," I said, turning around. "You're a dick with lips, Austin Carson." I breathed. I could feel tears filling my eyes. I could feel the air in my lungs dissipate and my heart beat slowly.

"Austin, I like you. I like you so much that I can't handle seeing you happy with her, but there's nothing I can do. I know what we did was a mistake, and I'm sorry for being so mean, but I'm not angry, okay? I'm not angry because I didn't deserve to see that; I just wanted to go home. I just needed some space, but why?" I was crying, I was blabbering, and I was distracted by the fact that he was shirtless and only in sweatpants. "I know, I'm so sorry you had to see that, it wasn't a mistake Issac," he said before coming closer. I was too blind in my tears to see him; I could feel his body warmth around me; I could feel his warm embrace.

"I know you like me, and you know I like you too; it's just that I like her a little more and our timing is just the worst, and we're dating, I can't leave her; she doesn't deserve that, and you don't deserve to be pushed to the side. I knew things would get to this and I didn't want to choose between you and her, but when you weren't here, she was. Yashrio was all over you; she was there, so I can't leave her for you, but I can't leave you cause you to mean too much to me"

I wiped my tears away and looked at him; he was stained with my tears and snot. "I don't know what to do, but, whatever we have going on, I want to complete that, but I also can't have her heart broken. Do you understand?" I looked away. I couldn't think straight. Literally, "I get it." I sighed, rubbing my face. "You look like a tomato; you're not the one to cry." "This is what I get when I see you turn into a baby." We laughed a little before just staring at each other. The solution wasn't made, and our conflict was present. "So now what?" he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "We keep us a secret till further notice." "You're kidding." "You still want to make out?" He's got me there.

Fine, but I think we should just keep a distance for a few days; I need to get that sight out of my mind." Austin gave an awkward laugh before agreeing, "I'll see you on Monday then." I nodded my head, "I'll see you." An awkward tension was built as we both wanted to express something, but now there was nothing we could do. Austin offered out his arms for me to hug, so I did just that. He kissed my head as I returned the embrace. I smiled at him before turning around and walking off. I didn't exactly get my charger, but I did get the worst solution to a problem that may ruin me. Having to go back to my dad and Yashrio was something I didn't want to face, but if I had stayed longer with Austin and Iris, I would have broken down.