Chaos In My Mind

Commitment Issues

I want to love, I do.
The warmth of your touch feels like home,
But when I hold you close, I also hold my breath,
Because home is never mine to keep.

I crave the safety of your arms,
The way you calm my restless fears,
But every time you come too near,
I build my walls, resist your charms.

I long for the quiet moments,
My head resting softly against your chest,
But in the silence, the noise inside grows louder
What if this is just another promise broken before it’s made?

I ache for love, but fear its weight.
I tell myself it’s easier to be alone,
Even as I hold your hand,
Wishing it could hold me together.

I want to be free with you,
But I am prisoner of my own mind
Chained by doubts, by the fear that lingers,
Whispering, nothing good ever lasts.

I want to give, but fear the fall,
So I give just enough to feel you close,
Then run before I lose it all

So I love in pieces, never whole,
Always half in, never full.
I wish I could stay, but can’t commit
In the end, I love by letting go of it.