Chaos In My Mind

The weight of rain

How can you not regret your decision,
of knowing that there will be pain,
Sooner than later, it will start falling down,
and start drowning you, like heavy rain.

I’m unsure if I regret mine too,
Trading your heart for moments we knew
It feels like a foolish, reckless trade,
Losing you for what we’ve made.

How can you not hate me, love me still,
When I can't return the same heart, same will?
Your eyes read me like an open page,
While I’m lost in the depths of your hidden cage.

Your eyes say love, your lips bring heat,
But my heart won’t echo that steady beat.
Yet I linger, selfish as you asked me to be,
Wrapped in warmth, though it’s not meant for me.

A kiss, a touch, a dangerous line,
We dance in shadows, pretending we’re fine.
But how can you not feel the weight of the fall,
When every embrace brings us closer to it all?

It’s beautiful, the closeness we’ve found,
But to lose you as a friend would tear me down.
Your touch is warmth, but the price is steep,
And I wonder if the cost’s too deep.

I hope you know, whatever you say,
that I won't let you walk away.

You say it stings, this game we play,
And wonder if friends we’ll stay someday.
But to lose you now, in the warmth of this tide,
Feels like losing the anchor, like drifting aside.

Can I even be this honest now,
When I feel I’ve crossed a line somehow?
You know my soul, read every part,
But your true feelings remain a mystery in your heart.

How can you not regret what’s to come,
When pain is sure to leave us undone?
Still I’m here, craving what’s real,
Fearing the loss I don’t want to feel.

And how can I be honest, when words won’t explain,
The foolish trade between comfort and pain?
I’m drowning in doubts, but craving the touch,
Fearing the end of what means so much.