Them. | The Final Installment of the Him Series | Joe Jonas Fanfiction

Forty Eight.

Two weeks after losing the pregnancy and as much as I feel somewhat better emotionally, the thought of another pregnancy any time soon is something I can't think about. I know it's possible, but one miscarriage means I could potentially have problems with fertility from now on anyways, right? I think this may be one of the worst things I've experienced emotionally, if I'm honest. We were so excited to be having another baby... only for it to be ripped away by my selfish behavior and inability to let go of my stressors. It really is all my fault. I know that. Joe hasn't told me; I know he doesn't want to... but I think he knows it truly was too.

Regardless, nothing has changed between the two of us, aside from him being a little more cautious around me, careful of my emotions, patience, and all. It's appreciated but he's also been working. Being around the girls is tough, if I'm honest. I didn't expect for that to be the case. I thought it would be more comforting; to know I have two babies that are healthy and happy running around. But it's hard... I find myself watching them and wondering who the baby would've become rather than being grateful that I have them. Again... selfish. I should be grateful I have kids at all. Some people can't.

Either way, as weird as it sounds, tonight was a relief, I had spent the other two nights of the Florida shows at home with the girls, but decided tonight would be a good night to get out of the house. Joe loves doing shows in Florida. The energy, he says, which I can't disagree with. And tonight did not disappoint. His performance reflected it, too. It had brought a genuine smile to my face for the first time in days. And honestly, given me the opportunity to crave intimacy with Joe again. Watching him on stage almost always does that, I should've known it would tonight as well. I might as well go on with it... what's it going to hurt anyway? It would probably be nice for us to have some intimacy other than him taking care of me like he's been doing lately.

Making my way backstage at the shows end, I wait for Joe to enter the dressing room, closing the door and letting out a breath before turning to me.

"Hi baby," he grins.

"Hi," I give him a smile in return.

"How are you feeling?" he asks, walking over.

I nod. "Pretty good right now."

"Really?" he asks, raising a brow.

I nod, sighing as I wrap my arms around his neck, letting them hang loosely. "Yeah."

A small smirk pulls at his lips. "How good?"

I smirk lightly, looking over to the side before back at him, loosely pulling at his tank. "Good enough to want you to take this off."

He licks his lips. "Hmm, well then I guess we better get home, huh?"

"Can I wait that long?"

"I guess we'll find out," he smirks, kissing me before grabbing his stuff and tugging on my hand. "Let's go, mama."

I grin, the both of us saying goodnight as we make our way through backstage, out the backdoor and to the car, Joe climbing in the drivers' seat after making sure I get in on my side. Starting it up, he begins the ride home, knowing it'll be a bit before we get there, reaching over and lying his hand on my thigh.

"Be careful, I'll make you pull over," I tell him as he squeezes lightly.

He smirks. "What if I say no?"

"Something tells me you won't."

He chuckles, nodding. "Confident, are we?"

I shrug. "A little."

He licks his lips, pressing on the gas a bit more as a smirk reappears on my lips.

Arriving home, the two of us exit the car, entering the house as quietly as we can before making our way to the stairs, meeting Jessica at them.