Them. | The Final Installment of the Him Series | Joe Jonas Fanfiction

Fifty One.

I knew Joe was mad with me. I knew that he felt a certain way about us losing the baby. I knew it. It isn't breaking news. But... to hear it. To hear the words fly from his mouth, for the first time, in the middle of an argument... wasn't exactly how I wanted to find out I was right.

I found myself sitting on the floor after he left the room, staring at the photo of us on the dresser, wondering how we got here. I never would've imagined we'd be where we are now. We've always been so... good. So understanding of one another. So communicative. We've always been on the same team. Now it feels like we're not. And it really fucking sucks. I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to fix the way he looks at me now. Does he even like me anymore?

I glance over at the clock, the time reading 1:13am. He had come back into the room only once, grabbing clothes, I'm assuming to sleep in before leaving again. He had glanced at me; I felt his glare. I assumed he was going to sleep on the couch, allowing me the bed. Only I was surprised to instead find him in Willa's floor when I looked at the camera to check on her. He was already asleep when I had looked, but I quickly turned the camera off, honestly not wanting to see him.

I find myself still sitting in the same spot as before. Unable to move my body. Unable to focus my mind enough to pull myself up. I'm frozen. Paralyzed.

I hear the door creak, but I can't move my eyes from the photo. When things were easier. How did we end up here now?

I feel his eyes again. I know it's him now. They aren't glaring this time though. They're softer. Back to how they normally are.

"What happened to us?" I whisper after another silent moment.

I hear him let out a breath, but he doesn't answer.

I continue to stare at the photo, blinking tiredly, though I know I can't sleep.

"I'm sorry," he says softly after another moment. "What I said... how I said it... about losing the pregnancy. It was wrong. I shouldn't have done that."

I gulp, waiting a second before turning my head to look at him, our eyes meeting. "I asked you."

He pulls in a breath, nodding while licking his lips, moving his eyes away from mine again.

I feel the tears well up, my lip quivering as I continue. "I asked you if you were angry. I asked you if we were okay. You- you told me that it wasn't my fault. I blamed myself and you just kept telling me that you weren't mad at me and that I couldn't have done anything."

"I know," he nods, closing his eyes. "I know. I know."

"Why..." I start, a few tears falling. "Why didn't you just talk to me when I asked?"

"I didn't know," he says, opening his eyes to meet mine again. "I didn't realize that I felt that way until it came out."

I lick my lips, pulling in a shaky breath, and looking down now. "I-"

"Come here, get..." he sighs, walking closer and offering his hand. "get off the floor. You haven't moved in hours."

I gulp, shaking my head. "I don't want to move."

"Addie," he sighs, his hand still offered. "Baby, please."

I pull in another breath, sniffling. "I've been blaming myself this entire time. I've been beating myself into the ground because I knew that I was the reason for us losing the baby and it fucking kills me that we're never going to know our child. We'll never know what they could've been and that's my fault." I lift my eyes, looking at him to see him gulp, licking his lips. I sniffle again. "But... Joe."