Take me to church (Book 1)

28- Know your enemy

It may not be that Dan and Phil live together and have a routine of waking up together, but Phil was stabbed with the fact that he knew that he couldn't just wake up and see Dan today. Before he would at least have the choice. Now they're just being forced apart.

He sits up from the sofa in which he slept on, moving his neck in circles- a slow motion- as the position he was laying in wasn't the best.

His eyes search the room after he slides on his glasses, his teeth gnawing at the inside of his lip, remembering where he is and why he is here. PJ is looking after him because Dan can't.

Already he feels lonely without his little sinner beside him. He isn't there to just hold Phil or whisper that everything will be fine. They can't communicate at all until the final conclusion is settled by the police. The thought reminds the church boy that he and his friends need to go back to the police station again today to make statements, they will hopefully be convincing enough to help get Dan out of the police's custody.

The crippling hole in Phil's chest hurts and he brings his knees into a hug, trying hard to remember what his mother told him, about what you should do if you're missing someone.
She said that 'when you feel alone, just look at the spaces between your fingers, remember that in those spaces you can see that persons fingers locked with yours forever.'

At the end of the day it's about how much you can bear, how much you can endure. Being together, harm comes to nobody; being apart, we extinguish ourselves and slowly hurt everyone else.

Phil knows he can get through this. It isn't that difficult of a situation. He just can't help but feel as if it's his fault.

If he had kept his mouth shut then maybe he and Dan could still be concealed lovers, the whole rape thing would be unknown to his father. But of course, the church boy never gets an easy life.

The boy flinches when hearing feet walk down the stairs, turning and breathing out at the sight of PJ. A caping brown, fluffy dressing gown hangs from his body, a long shirt and boxers the keep his modesty. His curls are everywhere, like rough waves in the sea. They're dancing swirls.

PJ's lips curl into a warm smile at seeing Phil awake, tugging his dressing gown around himself before walking towards the kitchen.

"Morning. Sleep okay?"

Phil nods at the boys' words, peeping over the back of the sofa to watch him in the kitchen.

The curly haired boy turns with a mug in his hands, eyebrows raised expectantly. "Tea?"

"I've never had it."

"You'll like it. I'll do it like I do Chris'."

"Thank you."

Friendships can be strange little things. Some friends you trust more than others and some friends you like having fun with more than some. You can be attracted to them without actually wanting any sexual contact. They can make you feel wanted with the right words.

Of course there has always been Louise. She was friends with Phil two years after his mum died, she was a huge support and a constant shoulder to cry on.

However, she goes to university full time and that meant Phil was still alone.

Now that he has PJ, Chris and Emma, it's a totally different feeling. He can rely on more people and open his heart. It's nice. For once he has a family.

PJ pads over to where Phil is still sat, handing him the hot mug of liquid before sitting beside the church boy, reaching for the remote and turning on the TV. Phil shuffles awkwardly as he's just in his boxers and is only used to Dan seeing him so exposed.