"So how far along are you now?" Sadie asks taking a seat across from me on the balcony. The night air smells salty and floral, it's quiet and calm apart from the odd playful squeal coming from the beach.
"Just over fourteen weeks... not that we're counting." I smile absentmindedly resting my hand on my stomach.
"God Mar, I feel like I've missed so much." Sadie tells me a slight sadness in her tone.
"Only morning sickness." I joke and she laughs brightly, instantly the air feels softer. "How was being away though... tell me everything."
"Well, I saw my dad." Her voice catches and she swirls the wine in her glass distracting herself watching the honeyed liquid. "So that was interesting, strange but nice. It was called for."
"Sounds like it brought up a lot." I whisper catching her eye.
"Yeah, more than I thought it would. It was good though, we spoke about everything and it felt brave to finally get it all off my chest. For the first time in years I think I kind of understand him." Sadie says taking a sip from her wine.
"It was clearly needed."
"Yeah it was messy but honest and we can finally leave the past in the past and just look forward." She grins folding her arms against her chest.
"Definitely. What about the rest of the travel? How was that?"
"Oh Mar, I loved it. Barcelona, Paris, Zurich, Milan and Rhodes... it feels like a dream... I'm glad I did it and I needed to do it alone. I guess to prove to myself that I could, y'know."
I nod imagining Sadie walking through cobbled roads, espresso in hand photographing anything and everything that makes her feel.
"Sounds like it was healing." I say softly watching her face light up at my words.
"Mar, it really was you have no idea. Exploring all these new places alone helped me to see that I don't need anyone else to validate me... it gave me the space I needed to just breathe and I suppose explore myself in a way." She beams with pride.
"I'm so glad that you gave yourself that time Sade, you deserve it." I tell her honestly and she tucks her feet underneath her.
"You've been listening to me ramble but how are you doing?" She asks sincerely.
"Honestly, I'm doing mostly well. I'm starting to get excited and Noah's been amazing but..." I struggle to find the right words biting my lip as Sadie leans in, her expression gentle but searching.
"But?" She questions kindly.
"It's hard to say. It's just a lot. Everything is a lot. I mean I got attacked and then we got our own place. Not even a month later we're travelling with everyone and then finding out we're pregnant... and now there's that whole situation." I nod towards the kitchen referring to everything that unfolded earlier today.
"Oh Mar... that was a lot but none of it's your fault you do realise that right? It got heated, sure, but that wasn't at all your fault. Or Noah's." She reassures taking my hand in her own giving it a light squeeze.
"It just felt really personal. I get it, I really do understand the frustration they all feel but it does feel like it's directed towards us instead of the people they should really be annoyed at. I love them but I also wish they would realise that I didn't choose this. I chose Noah, not this." I wave my arms in frustration desperate to get my point across.
The balcony door slides open with a soft scrape and Nick steps out with a shy smile. He shuffles over to Sadie's seat and she budges up to make space for him, curling into his side the second he sits down. He plants a gentle kiss ontop of her head before glancing over to me.
YOU ARE READING
Just Pretend
FanfictionMargo Brown, twenty five year old writer is desperate to pave her own path and to get out of her small town. A month before she is due to put down new roots in a new city her best friend Cassidy invites her along to a concert playing it off as Marg...
