Just Pretend

Chapter 82 - Cabin Fever, An Envelope & Cake

"Long time no see." Jolly smiles at us as we walk into the house that used to be our home. Every time we come back it's like we never left.

As usual hoodies are slung over the banister, shoes cluttered near the front door, the smell of coffee and aftershave strong hanging in the air, just like it always has.

"Hey, hey, we're here to play Mario Kart and to eat you out of house and home." I smile back as we follow him down the hall to the lounge.

"Well you came to the right house." Jolly chuckles and we step into the lounge.

Folio is sprawled in the usual big leather arm chair that he always claims as his own while Nick and Sadie are cuddled up to each other under a knitted orange blanket.

"Hey Mar, how are you doing?" Sadie smiles, standing giving me a gentle hug.

"I'm okay, tired but okay." I reply honestly.

It's been two weeks since our hospital visit and Noah has been nothing but attentive - painfully so, careful in a way that makes it impossible to forget how scared we both were. Since we've got home he's gone above and beyond in every small quiet way he possibly can.

I've thrown myself into work, trying to keep myself distracted but after two weeks of mostly hanging around the house I'm starting to crawl up the walls and Noah's noticed. I've been restless, my mind wandering constantly, even on the days my backs been doing better it's always there and I'm unable to switch it off.

"So what actually happened?" Sadie asks as she helps me to take a seat, pulling a cushion behind me softening my landing.

"Are you okay, Mar?" Noah asks softly placing down a mug of tea on the coffee table along with a bottle of water, like its muscle memory.

"I'm okay." I reply shifting on the couch to get comfortable as Noah gently lowers himself into the space beside me.

"So what actually happened. I know Noah gave us a quick run down over the phone but we haven't seen you for weeks and we were mid Margo birthday prep." Folio says with that cheeky glint in his eyes. "I've not forgotten by the way."

"I bet you haven't." I laugh uncomfortably feeling all eyes on us. "Apparently my body decided there was other plans for my birthday..." I shift looking to Noah for help.

"Yeah... it's uhh... Margo's back had been fucking up all day and we thought it was just normal aches but later on she wasn't able to get up off the couch... it scared me, I can't even imagine how you felt." Noah's face is ashen as he relives it all, his gaze locked on me.

"Fuck, man." Jolly says from the doorway, the humour in the room completely gone.

"She couldn't move, not even an inch. Everyime she tried she was wincing in pain, it was fucking awful. I felt so useless just having to sit there and watch." He continues, his voice breaking. "I didn't know what to do so I just picked her up knowing we needed to get to ER. The whole drive there I couldn't stop thinking what if I made it worse by picking Mar up? What if I hurt the baby in the process? It was just a fucking blur of panic." Noah looks down at the floor biting on his lower lip, his shoulders slack his body folding in on itself.

"But it's okay." I whisper taking his hand in my own giving it a quick squeeze. "We found out it was a hematoma, no bleeding, nothing actively wrong in that way... It was the waiting that was the worst part. The not knowing of what was going on or what might happen. Not knowing if it could get worse."

"I kept replaying it in my head. The whole day. Like should we have maybe taken it slower, should we have come sooner. Did I make it worse? Did I fuck it all up? I've never felt that kind of fear before ever." Noah lifts his eyes, they're glassy and vulnerable, desperately looking for comfort in my own. They search mine like he's bracing himself for an answer that might hurt him.