It's Noah's birthday next week and I'm in full manic preparation mode. I feel everything piling ontop of me. Work, the nursery, baby prep, wedding prep and Noah's birthday.
"Do you know what you're getting him?" Nick asks as I sit at the kitchen table with him and Sadie going through wedding invites.
"Yeah, I thought I'd suprise him with a trip to Richmond." I reply not looking up from the list of names that I need to hand write. We have a conveyor belt of organised chaos, I write names on the invites, Sadie puts the addresses on envelops and Nick seals them with the wax stamp initial of their new shared surname.
"He'll love that." Nick replies looking up to me with a smile.
"I hope so... I'm using it as a bit of an excuse to see Richmond too." I confess earning a wicked smile from Nick.
"Damn, our old stomping ground. There's so many memories there Mar. Good and bad, but fuck it's a great place. I think you'll love it too."
"I'm sure I will." I smile back rubbing my wrist, soothing the ache that's already settled in.
"Where is he today anyway?" Sadie chirps and I have to resist rolling my eyes.
"He's with Jolly." I answer automatically ready for the next series of questions about to come my way from Sadie.
Not Nick.
I know he knows.
"Huh? What are they up to?" Sadie asks one brow raised and I chuckle at my own prediction.
"Take a wild guess." I mumble and Nicks head whips up from the envelope.
"Mar..." His voice isn't a warning, it's sympathetic but exhausted. He knows exactly where this is heading.
"Don't Mar me. Y'all said you were taking a break. You're taking the break. So is Folio. Since that fucking interview Jolly and Noah seem to have amnesia or some shit because they aren't." I huff running my hand through my hair.
"Damn Mar." Sadie looks at me her eyes saying everything that words can't, not with Nick present.
"Look I don't want to talk about it. It's actually the last thing I wanna talk about." I moan and it's true. It is the last thing I wanna talk about.
For the past few days Noah has thrown himself back into work, just "hey babe, me and Jolly are gonna run through some stuff." Or I find him sneaking away to write or composing something, recording snippets of things here and there.
I don't know if this is a coping mechanism of throwing himself into a project to distract himself. I don't know if he's panicking in his own way and I'm just stood there in the middle of it trying not to fall apart.
The kitchens too quiet, just the shift noise of paper being shuffled and finally Nick lets out a long sigh, one he'd been holding for a while.
"Mar..." He tries again, his voice softer this time, careful like I'm something fragile.
"Guys, I really don't wanna talk about it." I repeat but there's no bite to it this time.
"Okay, we won't." Sadie says like it's final and I love her for that. For not pressing. For knowing I need to deal with this and go through the motions myself first.
We go back to our conveyor belt.
Write, write, seal.
Repeat.
The air feels heavy and I know I need to break it.
"Sometimes it's like he's everywhere apart from where I can reach him." I whisper my voice barely there, admitting out loud how I actually feel.
YOU ARE READING
Just Pretend
FanfictionMargo Brown, twenty five year old writer is desperate to pave her own path and to get out of her small town. A month before she is due to put down new roots in a new city her best friend Cassidy invites her along to a concert playing it off as Marg...
