Just Pretend

Chapter 72 - I Don't Want To Hide This

I wake up with Noah's arm still firmly wrapped around my waist, his face nuzzled in my neck. His breathing slow and warm, dancing over my skin in a rhythm that makes it impossible to tell if he's really still asleep or just not ready to let go of me just yet.

I shift slightly, testing the waters to get up and make us breakfast but Noah's hand instinctively tightens, his thumb twitching against my bare skin. A raspy hum rumbles in his throat, vibrating against me.

"You're awake." I whisper running my fingers through his hair smoothing down the messy strands at the nape of his neck. He hums again, low and gravelly that sounds more like a purr than a word. His nose nudges into my neck comfortable and content.

"Was hoping you wouldn't notice." He mumbles his voice thick with sleep. "I could have stayed like this for another hour."

"I was going to make breakfast." I reply as I continue running my fingers through his hair.

Noah shifts slightly propping himself up on his elbow, resting his face in the palm of his hand, a smirk tugging on his lips.

"Yeah, babe, I think it's best you and the kitchen go on a little break for a while after the sauce catastrophe." Noah chuckles and I feel my cheeks flush.

"Don't I'm too traumatised." I ruffle his hair in mock retaliation, though it's a weak attempt only making his grin grow wider.

I close my eyes tilting my head up to the ceiling feeling Noah moving next to me. I feel his head resting lightly on my chest, his arm snaking around my hips.

"Mar..."

"Mhmm?.." I hum, his fingers trace lazy circles on my hipbone, so lightly it feels like it barely exists but it sends my body alight with goosebumps. I feel his breath against my collarbone, the weight of his head resting right above my heart.

"I was thinking, maybe we should have a house warming." I swallow hard at his words. My heart stutters and I know he feels it too because his thumb pauses mid circle, pressing a little firmer against my skin as if it will anchor me.

"A house warming?" I feel him nod against my chest as his fingers skim deliberately against the hem of my tee.

"Yeah, get everyone here. Fill the place with noise. It doesn't need to be a big thing, just our people, our home. Safe." His lips graze the bottom of my neck, barely a whisper of a kiss but it makes my skin prickle. "You don't have to say a word. I'll do it. You can just stay right next to me."

"I don't know Noah." I reply and he lightly kisses along my jaw and up to my temple, slow and deliberate knowing exactly what he's doing.

"I want them to know Mar. I want them to know how fucking lucky I am. You. Our baby. Please Margo." He pleads his words barely a whisper against my ear. His lips linger at the shell of my ear and I feel him exhale slow and warm. "Please."

"I'm not good-"

"That's okay. You don't have to be. You don't owe anyone anything. Not a speech, not even a fucking smile. Nothing... I've spent years of hiding everything that matters to me. I don't want to hide you. I don't want to hide this."

His words settle into the quiet space between us, raw and laid bare. There's no push or expectation just him laying himself in front of me, asking for something but leaving it all in my hands.

Suddenly it clicks.

It's not about Noah wanting to throw a house warming. It's not about the event, the noise, the distraction.

It's about Noah needing to stand in front of people who have seen every version of him and show them something that he's really truly fucking proud of.