I hate the way Folio and Nick look at me as I enter the house. Like I'm in some broken fragile thing and honestly who can blame them when I look the way I do.
"Hey Mar." Folio smiles but it's not real. It's tight and strained around the edges, not like his usual big cheesy grins.
Nick doesn't even attempt a smile. He just stares at me like he can't decide whether to be pissed that I've hurt his best friend or pissed because I'm hurting.
Maybe both.
Honestly, I'm not even shocked.
He's fiercely loyal to Noah that I know deep down I'm already the villain in his version of the story.
The girl who left.
The one who walked away while Noah was falling apart.
Maybe that's unfair.
Maybe it isn't.
"Mars?" Sadie whispers pulling me back out of my own head, the abandoned nickname from our childhood does something to me and before I know it I'm crying all over again.
"Oh fucksake." My voice wobbles and I furiously wipe the tears away with my sleeve. "Sorry guys."
"Mar, you don't have to apologise for being upset." Nick says calmly, his expression softening only making me cry harder.
"Oh honey, it's gonna be okay." Sadie wraps her arms around me and I immediately collapse into her.
"I'm just so fucking tired." I sob against her shoulder.
"I know, I know." Sadie mumbles into my hair gently patting my back like I'm a child.
"C'mon Mar, I'll go make some tea and we can sit down." Jolly says calmly like the voice of reason and I nod my head against Sadie letting her guide me to the living room.
I collapse on the sofa trying to control the broken cries that leave me. The house is too quiet for the amount of people in it and I know they're all waiting on me to say something.
Anything.
"Someone should be with him." I hear myself say, the confession spilling out of me.
These are Noah's friends first.
"He'll come. You know what he's like better than anyone, Mar. He needs him time to process and then he'll come here." Nick says like it's a fact and I know he's right.
"Yeah..." I nod taking the mug of tea from Jolly. "Thanks."
"Look Mar, I don't wanna press but could you maybe let us in?" Jolly asks taking a seat on the sofa across from me.
I take a deep breath scanning around the room. Folio sitting in his usual spot but not comfortably, elbows on his knees like he's ready to jump up off his seat and run out the room at any moment.
Nick hovers in the doorway, arms crossed against his chest. Protective and guarded, almost intimidating. Like he's trying to decide whether he's here as Noah's best friend or mine.
Sadie cuddled into me, arm wrapped around my shoulders like she's my personal shield, refusing to let me go. Knowing how much I need someone to hold me up.
Then Jolly patient as always.
Not pushing.
Not judging.
Just waiting.
"I don't really know where to start to be honest." I sigh refusing to make eye contact, looking down at the tea.
YOU ARE READING
Just Pretend
FanfictionMargo Brown, twenty five year old writer is desperate to pave her own path and to get out of her small town. A month before she is due to put down new roots in a new city her best friend Cassidy invites her along to a concert playing it off as Marg...
