Maze Runner One Shots (Requests Open)

Read Me (Brenda)

I could feel my heart racing in my chest like a frightened horse. It almost made up for the thoughts swarming my head, reminding me of the harsh reality of how this could go. Brenda has always understood me. She knows what I’m feeling with just a look and can figure out what’s wrong without a word.

But will she understand that nothing is wrong with me here? That just because my gender doesn’t match most other people’s doesn’t mean there’s something broken within me?

She should understand. She’s never given any indication that she wouldn’t.

Then again, she’s also never said anything about if she would.

I kept pacing back and forth, chewing off my nails in the process. Each step put more doubts in my mind. What if my clothes presented too masculine or feminine? What if she could only see me the way she always has? What if she never sees me as me?

As I was going back and forth with myself, at this point trying to talk myself out of it, the door swung open, making me flinch. Only one person walks into my hut like she owns the place. Only one person would be that bold and that close to me.

“Hey,”she nodded, taking a seat on my bed. I watched her lean back like she had claimed it, looking at me with those patient brown eyes that made my heart flutter and throat dry. “You had something you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Yes. It uh, it may be a lot, but yes. I do have to talk to you,”I nodded, awkwardly sitting beside her. My face burned as she gave her full attention, along with a subtle comforting smile that only made the nerves worse.

“I know you knew me as . . . [deadname] a while ago. But the thing about that is it uh, it doesn't feel like me. It never has, but I've never figured out the words to say why. I only knew changing it was more than a nickname. Until I um, until I did. And it made me realize how much deeper it all goes. That it's not just about the name. It never has been. And I wanted to tell you as soon as I figured it out, but it was freaking me out, so I could only guess it might freak you out, and I just-”
“I know,”she said simply.

“You-you do?”I stuttered, my shoulders tensing in preparation.

“Yeah. I just figured I shouldn't blurt out that I know you're nonbinary, but I do. Between the clothes you pick out and the way you always have been in general, I kind of figured it out.”

“Oh,”I mumbled, blinking slowly, like I was trying to connect to reality again. I don't know what I expected, but it definitely wasn't for her to have already known.

“While we're here, I figured out you're not into guys either. Don't get me wrong, I love you, but most people don't physically recoil any time a boy slightly brushes against them.”

“I'm that much of an open book to you?”I sighed.

“Pretty much. But think of it this way. We know each other so well, we don't have to make any speeches unless we need some dramatics in our lives.”

“Yeah, that does help,”I laughed, scratching the back of my neck. Leaning back, I smiled as I looked at her, making something bloom inside of my chest.

I think enough has been said tonight though.

“Wanna go swimming for a bit?”I suggested.

“Yeah. That'd be nice.”