Maze Runner One Shots (Requests Open)

Just As Beautiful (Brenda)

Ethereal. That's just one of the several incredible things Brenda is. Absolutely ethereal. Absolutely gorgeous. Strong, funny, brave, observant. She's just every good thing wrapped up in a box with a shiny bow.

And I'm me. She says I'm beautiful. She compliments me all the time. She stays up some nights, describing everything she adores about me, and I swear it goes on for hours.

I don't know what she could ever see in me. I know that realistically my time in the Scorch, fighting off Cranks and knowing how to move, made me strong. It was essentially impossible to not be in shape out there.

I don't look like it though. I don't understand why I'm like this. Insecure, wishing nobody would ever see my body, noticing all the flaws in my mirror.

I seem to be addicted to it. To staring at everything I hate. It fills me with disgust, but it's practically part of my routine now.

Pulling my shirt up, I stared at myself in the mirror as I searched for one good thing about me. For anything that was worth looking at. I was practically begging for my brain to spot any attractive features.

As always, there were none. None at all. There's no way Brenda doesn't notice. She only says all those sweet things about me because she'a my girlfriend. If we weren't together, she wouldn't even look my way.

"Hey, Y/N. I just forgot."

Pulling my shirt down, I turned around to face her. Her eyebrows furrowed with worry, her lips pursed together in a firm line.

"Forgot what?"I asked, acting as though nothing had happened.

"Why were you looking at yourself like that?"She asked in a gentle voice.

"Like what?"I shrugged.

"You know like what."

"I was just looking at myself,"I excused.

"Y/N,"She said softly, walking closer to hold my face in her hands. I stared up at her and all her perfect features while knowing I would never look like her. "You never look at anyone else like that. Ever."

"You don't know how I was looking at myself,"I mumbled, pulling away as I turned my back to her, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Beautiful-"
"I'm fine,"I snapped.

I could see her eyes widen in the mirror behind me, a quick flash of surprise that was gone as quickly as it appeared.

"You are beautiful. I mean it,"She tried to tell me. I rolled my eyes, a sight she caught as she wore a stern expression.

"Y/N-"
"Enough, Brenda. Enough with the damn lies already,"I demanded, turning to face her, my face warming in frustration.

"Lies?"She echoed, stepping closer to me. I stared her down while simultaneously holding back tears. I hate the way she pretends I'm worth looking at, but I love looking at her, and I love her, and she loves me, and I wish I understood why I was such a wreck all the time.

"Yes. I know you're lying when you say that so please just come out and say it? Just tell me the truth,"I pleaded.

"There is no truth to tell, Y/N,"She said sharply.

"Just tell me. I know you think you have to because you're my girlfriend, but I just want you to be honest? Just be honest?"

"I am being honest,"She insisted, her voice getting lower as though I had done something unforgivable.

"Just stop it. Be. Honest,"I repeated.

"I. Am."

"Can you just-"
"I am-"
"Don't talk over me-"
"I have to-"
"This isn't-"
"Damnit, Y/N! Can you just accept what I'm saying for five seconds?!"

"Not when what you're saying is a lie! You don't like the way I look! Nobody could like the way I look!"I screamed back.

"I do! I love the way you look! I love everything about you!"

"Stop it! Just admit you're lying! Just tell me the truth!"

"I'm not lying! Stop calling me a liar!"

"You are a liar! You know you are!"I yelled louder, hot tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Stop it! Stop doing that! Stop yelling at me, because you can't understand that I love you! I didn't sign up to be screamed at like this!"

"Then, go! Just go!"

"I don't want to go!"

"Yes you do! You-you're-you're gonna find some-someone better,"I choked out, covering my face with my hands as I fell to the floor. Bowing my head, I let broken sobs leave me, a deep shame filling my body.

"Oh, Y/N,"She whispered, kneeling beside me. Holding my head, she pulled me into a tight hug, rubbing my back. Burying my face in her neck, I cried against her skin. "I do love you. I love you so much more than you know. And it kills me to see you like this. To see you be so gorgeous and not realize it."

Sniffling, my shoulders shook as the tears kept falling.

"I love you. You're the only one I want. You've been there for me from the beginning, and I will never be able to thank you enough. I'm so very lucky to have you."

"I'm sorry,"I whispered, my voice cracking at the simple words.

"It's okay, Y/N. It's all going to be okay."

She was talking about much, much more than me calling her a liar. Something that seemed to calm the ache in my heart just a little bit.