Riptide (a lauren jauregui love story)

Part 33

Lauren's pov
Jackson gets back today and I can't wait to see him. I missed him so much. So what it's only for a day and a night and then half a day. We still get a little bit of time together. I just can't wait to see him. I was bouncing up and down as Ally drove us to the airport to meet him.
"Oh my god Lauren calm down he was only away for 2 months."
"you don't understand. I missed him so much. 2 months is a long time."
"Yeah so is two years." Normani says coldly.
"I'm sorry Mani, that was insensitive."
"It's ok I'm not upset I was just stating a fact."
I hug her tightly knowing how much she misses Masi right now.
"Lau I'm fine."
"You're not fine. I know you miss him."
"Lauren calm down I was just saying. I'm fine. Yeah I miss him but it's been almost a year I'm fine."
"Kordei stop lying to me."
"Ok it's just hard seeing everyone with the people they love when mine is in another country. You and Jackson, Camila and Shawn, ally and Troy, Dinah and Nela, Masi is so far away and it's hard but I'm fine. He's doing something pretty amazing so I'm fine!"
"Alright sweets but if you want to talk about it, I'm here for you."
"Thanks!" I kiss her cheek and realize we're parked at the airport.
"Ahhh!" I squeal and jump over Camila and out of the car. I run out and see his plane has just gotten in. I bounce in my place waiting for him to come out of the gate. Of course he's the last person off, engaged in a seemingly intense conversation with a flight attendant. Big Jeff walks behind him looking bored out of his mind.
"I'm just saying the quality of the bike is so much more important than the cost. If you're gonna get a motorcycle, it's gotta be of good quality." The attendant shakes her head.
"Babe stop harassing the employees." I say and his heads snaps in my direction.
"Why is the first thing out of your mouth when I get off of a 2 month tour something sassy?"
"Because I'm me now come give me a hug." He ran over to me and lifted me up in the air while I wrapped my legs around his waist.
"Oh my god I missed you so much." He mumbles into my neck.
"I missed you too." He put me down and inexorably cupped my face and pulled me into a kiss. I pulled him arms down and he wraps them around my waist. Our lips move together for a while before there's a cough. We separate and see the girls standing there. Camila and Dinah arms crossed, ally was gushing at us and Normani was smiling wide.
"Hey I want to hug my best friend!" Dinah whines.
"Sorry!" I step back and let them have their reunion moment.
"Where's Jax, where's Jax?" He squeals like a little school girl.
"Calm down macho man he's in the car."
"You left my son in the car alone?"
"I know you did not just call that dog your son!" Dinah says sassily.
"Yeah he and Jax have an unhealthy relationship. I've seen him spend hours combing the dogs hair."
"That's weird!" Normani points out.
"Well let's go and see Jax!" He yells before racing Camila and Dinah to the car. I love how although Camila hurt me real bad her and Jackson are like two little kids together. I know sometimes she can't stand to look at him and he's the same way but they're like little siblings. I've forgiven Camila to a certain extent as so I don't want to murder her anymore but we're still on an acquaintance basis, I would like for us to be good friends though one day. The things is I know she's still not over us and I know here are some times when I think she's trying to sabotage our relationship. Like the Kendall Jenner thing. That was blown out of proportions in the way that Camila showed me the picture and then not the interview so I didn't talk to him for a week. I have to stop trusting her when it comes to relationships. Anyways I know I can trust Jackson which for me is a huge deal because I never trust anyone. I think I trust him fully but I can never be sure. I guess I don't really know what it's like to trust someone. Maybe I'll know it when I trust someone, maybe it's something you just know. I know this much, I don't worry about him talking with other girls or anything , I don't have to worry about him hurting me. Maybe all trust is, is the ability to have no worries in a relationship. So long as you have no worries then you trust them. I guess I trust him then. We got to the car to see Dinah and Camila fighting over the front seat. I laugh at their stupidity and get in the car next to Jackson. Eventually Dinah won and Camila ended up next to me in the very back of the car while Normani and Big Jeff got into an intriguing conversation on climate change in The middle row. Ally driving of course while Dinah played Beyoncé's album Beyoncé. Normally I would be jamming out but I was cuddled into Jackson's side.
"I missed you baby!"
"I missed you too princess!"
" I can't believe we only have today and tonight together before you leave for Australia."
"I would stay as long as I could but I can't violate my citezenships so I have to."
"I know but in still gonna miss you."
"Time will fly and then you'll be on your so I can see you whenever I want to."
"Well but you'll have to work."
"On my new album so I'll be recording so if your in New York I go to New York and then your phili shows and then your New Jersey shows and your Maryland shows and hen I'll probably have to head back to New York but still, we can do this. I know we can because we're strong and I love you."
"I love you too." I kissed him.
"You know I still get sparks when I kiss you?" He whispers in my ear and I giggle.
"I get them whenever you touch me."
"Imagine what'll happen when I really touch you."
"Trust me I've thought about it a lot."
"Have you?"
"Mhm I've thought about so much more." I bite his earlobe.
"You two may be whispering but I can still hear!" Camila complains.
"Hear what?" I kiss under his ear and down a little bit more.
"Maybe we should stop since we're making Camila uncomfortable."
"Is it about her or am I making you uncomfortable in those pants." He gulps.
"Guys that's nasty!"
"Mhm yeah we are." I kiss his lips and place a hand on his chest as our lips move in sync.
"You two no making out in the back of the car!" Ally scolds. I roll my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder and then placed my hand on his lower abdomen going lower.
"Lauren! Jesus Christ chill your hormones!" Camila yells.
"It's hard to chill around this sexy beast." I kiss him again.
"Jeez Lauren I don't think I'm the only one uncomfortable here!"
"Just don't look down there and you won't have to see anything."
"Lauren hands to yourself!" Ally scolds again.
"God Lauren are you into some exhibitionist shit or something?" Dinah asks disgusted but still smirking.
"Yeah!" Everyone looks at me. "What? A girl can't have desires?" Everyone looks horrified.
"Guys I'm joking!" They chill.
"Well partially." I whisper seductively into Jackson's ear. His eyes go wide and a bead of sweat down his forehead. He was so turned on, I could tell. He's so perfect I just want to make him see it. He has no idea how sexy he is. I just want to show him. We get home and I drag him up to my room and push him down on my bed then climb on top. I kiss him and then hiss neck. I reach for his belt but he grabs my hand.
"What now?" I ask craving his body inside of me.
"Lauren your friends are in the next rooms over, I don't have a condom and lastly, it's just not the right time."
"Why don't you want to have sex with me?"
"I do just not right now."
"Is it because I'm not pretty enough?" I ask looking down.
"No I just want it to be special."
"I don't care how special it is! I just want to be with you! It's obviously my fault! I'm not pretty or skinny enough am I?"
"Lauren you're so gorgeous and sexy it's hard for me to control myself but I know that Brad touched you when you didn't want it. I know Luis did some things without your permission, I know that you were pressured into your first time." A tear fell from my eye and pinged on his shirt as I remembered it all. "I don't want you to think about that when your with me. I want to make love to you so good that all of that floods away. I want to consume your mind. I want to erase your past. I don't want you to imagine Someone else while my kisses linger on your breast. I don't want when my fingers are in you that you cry because you remember Luis. I don't want when I'm kissing your neck that you flashback to Brad. I want to make love to you, so that all you remember is my fingers, my lips, my touch on your skin. I want to do right by you. So please let it be on my terms baby."
"Ok!" I wipe my tears.
"You're gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, and so worth more than what you've gotten in life. I want to treat you like the princess you are. You are my princess. Mine you understand!"
"Yes!"
"Okay now kiss me." I lean down and kiss him then break out into tears.
"What's wrong baby girl?"
"I lied to you."
"How did you lie to me?"
"While you were gone."
"Did you cheat on me?"
"No and yes!"
"Please tell me it's not what I think it is. Please tell me you cheated on me. I'd rather that then what you're about to tell me."
I shake my head.
"I w..was t..texting Alexa and I got a c..call from an unknown number. It was Luis. He said that he was sorry. I told him about you and how much I loved you because I thought we were cool and he freaked. H..he started yelling about how I was his and I always will be that you didn't actually care about me and some other stuff and then he brought up the rape."
"The what?"
"W..when I was with Luis I didn't want to have sex one night when he was drunk so h..he forced me to have sex with him. He was my boyfriend so I didn't file a charge. What judge would rule in my favor. When he brought it up the memories came back and so did my demons. So I..I cut!" I pull up my sleeves and reveal the maybe 10 cuts on my arms. He started to tear up and he let one tear fall from the side of his eyes. I laid next to him and he pulled me in close. He takes my left arm and brings my wrist to his lips. He kisses all of the scars over and over.
"You see why I want to wait."
"That's why I was so eager just now. I wanted to prove to myself that Luis was wrong and that you would jump at the chance to have sex with me. It was a dumb idea. "
"Babe I would jump at the chance to have sex with you. That is after you forget."
"I will. With time."