Riptide (a lauren jauregui love story)

Part 49

Lauren's pov
I was scared of him in that state I'm not gonna lie but I see what he was fighting for. He stood up for Dinah and domestic abuse victims everywhere myself included. God forbid he had a little girl and beat her like my dad beat me. Who is Sarah though? It doesn't matter. My boyfriend who helped me through a hard time needs my help. He needs love and understanding. He gave that to me now I'm ready to listen to him and provide that. I'm ready to be a supportive and caring girlfriend. I felt him move in my arms.
"You good?" I ask.
"Babe I'm sorry!"
"For what?"
"For what you saw. You really deserve better."
"I don't deserve anything. You baby are perfect and I want you no I need you in my life. I don't care about what I saw I want you in all and total even with your flaws. So just talk to me."
He sits up and hands my hand.
"Ok so let's start from the beginning. When I was younger like 13-14. I was a chunky kid. Like borderline fat. Middle school fucked me up. I don't know what happened but I was a depressed, fat, relatively smart kid. I guess because I refused to make real food besides like junk for myself. Anyways kids made fun of me and girls still dated me but it was always a dare or a joke to ask me out or lead me on. The spring of 8th grade I started working out. Running everyday, lifting weights, football drills. I ate healthy. I lost a decent amount of weight by summer but I was still fat. Kids still made fun of me just because every other kid in town was bone skinny. My parents sent me away to America to see my cousins for the summer. We did intense workouts together because they were really in shape guys. I came back and I basically had almost a six pack. All of the bony guys were jealous and all of the girls were actually into me. I made some friends in high school and joined the football team. Word came out that my sister was how do I say illegitimate and kids started making fun of her and my mother who was then struggling with cancer. It was on the down low but I knew. Nobody wanted to make me mad cause I was then considered a 'hot jock' anyways, some kids would to my face make fun of me so I beat this one kid so bad he had to go to the hospital. With that my parents transferred me before I could be expelled or suspended. They made it look like they were just moving around. Whenever kids made fun of my family I got so angry inside I beat the shit out of them. I developed some anger issues. Then at my last school I met this girl her name was Sarah. She was pretty, nice, and the only person who actually cared and didn't view me as a monster. She introduced me to Nela. At that time I already knew about his past of hitting women and although I didn't agree with it he said he changed and everyone deserves another chance. Me and Sarah got closer and then one day she started dating Nela. Keep in mind he knew I had a crush on her but he still dated her. Months later she started getting sad and I vowed I would always watch out for her and never let her get hurt. That's when I found out Nela had been hitting her. I went to his house and beat him up a bit. Keep in mind I had already like almost killed like 7 other kids. I went to her house to tel her how sorry I was that I didn't notice. I found her sprawled on the floor with pills and bottle of bleach just to assure herself she would. Die. She killed herself. I never noticed the cuts in her wrist the bruises, the depression. Her death changed me in the way that I stopped being so angry all of the time. She had taught me not to be angry all of the time. Nela was just heartbroken that he had caused this. I forgave him and we both moved to Hawaii to escape the memories. That's why I almost killed Nela because by hitting girls he killed Sarah. That's why Lauren. I noticed your depression. That's why I noticed your cutting and your suicidal habits. Because I had seen it before. And to think this all happened because I was tired of being fat. I mean I still have certain body insecurities I don't tell you about. I didn't tell you any of this because I didn't want you to think that I loved you because of your history or because of her. I love you for you. I loved you when I saw you on the beach not because I knew that you'd been abused and had suicidal habits. I loved you for you and I didn't want this to weigh down." The whole time I was soothingly rubbing his hand and listening.
"Jack look at me. I don't think that. I know that you don't love me because of her I know that. I want to hear about your insecurities. I want to make you feel better. I want to listen. Support you! Ok? I love you, you can tell me anything and everything! We're in this together till the end of time." I put up my pinky and he locks it and I kiss them.
"Do you promise to always love me no matter of my past or anything that's uncovered."
"Is there more to be uncovered?" I raise an eyebrow.
"No I'm just saying like hypothetically."
"Ok I promise." I use my pinky and pull him in and give him a short but sweet kiss.
"It's been a stressful day can you make me some tea." He asks cheekily. I smile at him.
"Yes I can, do you want anything else?"
"Cheez it's!"
"Ok!" I jump off the bed.
"Thank you baby girl!"
"Of course my love." I walk down the stairs and into his kitchen. I make us both tea and then grab his cheez its. I walk back upstairs and return to see him sitting in just some sweatpants and my breathing stopped. I muttered a silent holy shit.
"Oh yeah I had to take a shower cause of the blood so I just went right ahead and put on my pyjamas."
"I...I..I don't m..mind." Shit I'm stuttering. Its amazing how my boyfriends exposed upper body still makes me stutter. He's so hot.
"You're stuttering."
"The tea is j..just really, really, really hot." I hand him his cup. I sat down next to him and drank my tea, placing the cheez its in his lap.
"So babe I know all about your past life and attitude issue but what about past girlfriends."
"Hoi that's a heavy topic, I was a player. I got all of the girls starting when I was 16."
"Oh really so your game still on point?"
"Yeah the highest level like I'm like a god. I mean I managed to get you to agree to be my girlfriend so my game must be high."
"So tell me how many girlfriends have you had before me?"
"Well actual girlfriends like 10 but serious relationships id say maybe 4."
"So why'd you break up with these four girls."
"Different reasons. The first one was actually my first heartbreak. She said she had feelings for my best friend so yeah. One of them ended up being my step-cousin as you know. One was just a fight gone wrong. And the last one just left. I woke up one day and she had moved back to Britain. Actually kind of broke my heart. Especially the fact that she didn't even bother to say goodbye or tell me she was leaving or why. It was heartbreaking."
"Aww that's actually really awful. She didn't even hint that she was leaving?"
"Nope just called her house and they said she had moved that morning."
"Wow that's kind of selfish."
"Yeah but then I never would've really focused on my channel and on my music so thank you to her for helping me realize what's really important."
"Your career?"
"Sort of what I mean is what I love so yeah my career, my family, my legacy. Everything anyone strives for in life. Not focusing on those who come and go, focusing instead on the permanent things. They may double and evolve but certain things stay the same. My family is always my family, my career is the same only growing and maturing, my legacy. I want to be remembered by those I love, by those who love me. I want the name Jackson Danielson to be familiar to somebody, somewhere 200-300 years from now. I want to make a mark."
"Make your mark on the world!" I sing the Disney channel jingle. We both laugh.
"Sorry I ruined your moment."
"Aww babe you can ruin as many moments as you want with your dorky comments."
"Dorky? Really? I think my comments are cultured and eloquent."
"Well they're not." I took his box of cheez it's. I closed it and I threw it on the floor.
"What was the for?"
"For being mean."
"That wasn't mean though. Just true." I launched on top of him. He held my arms before they could hit him. He pushed be down backwards. I broke free and pulled him into an arm lock.
"Now what?"
"Nothing. I give up. You got me." I back off and let go then he lifts me over his shoulders across his back.
"Just kidding!" he slams me down. It didn't hurt because he dropped me into the bed but nonetheless. I sweep kicked and he fell on the ground.
"Now I win."
"Yeah ok you win." He says standing up and I pull him down on top of me into a kiss.