Where We Belong

Chapter 64: Regrets

          Walking inside Kendall's place, Chris shuts the door just as she walks down the stairs from putting a sleeping Addison in her bed. She takes his hand and pulling Chris outside to the railing. 

         "How could I be so stupid?" Kendall says softly.

         "It's okay," Chris sighs, standing beside her.

          "No, it's not," shaking her head. "I should have believed you. I should have known."

          Chris swallows hard, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to him—kissing her temple.

         "No Chris," Kendall pulling away. "I think with losing the baby I was on such high emotions I didn't think straight. I'm going to always regret it."

          "It's over and done with Kendall, and I hate that you didn't believe me at first, but it's water under the bridge now."

          "Just two and a half years later," Kendall laughs a little, wiping the tears and taking a deep breath. "Trust me, I'm going to hate myself for not believing you for a long time. Life could have been so different. I guess there are reasons why things work out the way they do. I wouldn't have Addison or this baby, and you're happy with Sierra."

          "I am but, I don't know," running a hand through his hair.

          "But what?" Kendall frowns.

          "I still love you, Kendall."

          "Chris I will always love you," stepping into Chris's arms, giving him a hug and then stepping back, "but it's too late."

          "What do you mean it's too late?"

           "Sierra is a great girl. You deserve each other, and although I've loved having you around and helping, you don't really want to get stuck with two kids and me."

          "And why not?"

          "Do you? Chris, it's so much you'd be getting into. Addison loves you, and I'd hate for her to have you around then something happens, and you'd be gone."

          "Stop making excuses Kendall," Chris leans against the railing.

          "Mommy," Addison says, rubbing her eyes.

          Kendall closing her eyes, hating for what she and Chris are talking about to end. She turns and smiles at Addison, "have a good nap baby girl?"

          "Where's daddy?"

          "Addison, you know daddy isn't here anymore," Kendall says, hating to have to say that. She picks up her daughter.

          "Let me handle this," Chris says, taking the little girl from Kendall and walking back upstairs to her room. He lays her down in her bed, giving her the stuffed elephant. Chris notices it's the same elephant he won Kendall on the boardwalk a couple years ago. "Goodnight sweetie," kissing her forehead. Chris stands up, Kendall leans against the doorway.

          "Every time you're with her, it makes me fall in love with you all over again. It's been so hard not to tell you that."

          "I see the elephant," Chris smiles, nodding over to Addison who is already passed out.

          "It's her favorite," Kendall nods as they walk out of her room and back downstairs. "Thanks for putting her to bed. I hate when she asks about her dad. It breaks my heart each time," Kendall sighs, sitting down on the couch.

          "I'm sure it does. He's not exactly father of the year," Chris laughs, patting her knee.

          "I know, I know," Kendall laughs as well. "I forced him into it though. He never wanted to be a dad," she sighs getting serious. "I got pregnant on our third date and refused to get rid of her. He wanted to. I thought him meeting her would change his mind."

          "Well, you and Addison and your unborn son don't deserve that. Not every man can be a father."

          "I know they deserve so much better and I've realized I'd much rather be the kids and me than have him in our life."

          Chris sighs, leaning back against the couch, "I love you, Kendall."

          "You know I love you too Chris, even through these past few years. I could never stop."

          "I want to kiss you," Chris says softly.

          "I want that too."

          Leaning forward, Chris slides his hand on her neck, his thumb running along her jaw. He leans in, pressing his lips against hers. Old feelings flooding back.

          "Chris I can't do this again."

          "Then be with me."

          "I can't until you end it with Sierra. I can't go behind someone's back with you again. We did it with Kelsey, and I told myself never again. I can't be your second," Kendall says softly.

          "Kendall, I belong here with you. I'm still completely in love with you, and I have feelings for Sierra also, but they aren't as strong as my feelings I have for you. I mean she's a great girl, but I don't see myself building a future with her. I want you. I want to love Addison which I already do, and I want to be that male figure for your son," Chris exclaims, sliding his hand on her stomach.

          The baby kicks.

          "Chris you knew that I want nothing more than that. I knew you'd always be the best father no question," squeezing his hand. "I also know we belong together, but you have to end it with her first."

          "Okay," Chris nods his head.

          "Thank you," kissing his cheek.

          "I should probably get back to work."

          "God so much has happened today. I feel like the day should be over."

          "Well don't stress yourself out. I'll talk to you later okay?" Chris says leaning in and kissing her softly.

          "Sounds good," Kendall smiles, Chris heading out.