Thomas Brodie-Sangster Imagines

Into The Dark Pt.2

A/N: This was requested, taking requests. DM me or just comment on my first part/chapter. Idk. I will not be taking any requests put on any other imagine.

I gently moved my pencil across the sketchbook that was on top of the cool marble table beneath me, part of my mind concentrated on the drawing in front of me while the other on the constant rhythm of my breathing and the variation of the constant pitter patter of the rain outside. I bit my lip down hard and furrowed my brows as I glided the pencil across the paper with enough force to cause a darkening shade, trying to bring the picture of the wolf in my mind back to life. In a classroom that was empty with nothing but the usual furniture and fluorescent white lights illuminating the room, it should have been easy for me to draw the vivid picture of the wolf I had encountered yesterday evening but strangely, it wasn't.

I took in another deep breath and tried again once more to focus on the smooth paper in front of me, then pressed my fingertips tighter against the pencil. Trying to glide it across to create the familiar eyes of the wolf, I could feel myself slowly losing hope as I continued to draw a shitty version of the wolf eyes, getting frustrated myself with every passing second. I bit my lip down harder as I lifted my sketchbook and stared at the horrible drawing of the wolf I had drawn before I felt myself beginning to spiral within the thoughts of negativity.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. It doesn't look like a wolf, it looks like a bloody creature from hell that you have created.

I slammed the sketchbook that was in my hands onto the cool marble table, its immediate sound breaking through the tense silence that seemed to reverberate through the air. My eyes followed the pencil that drifted across the table and landed onto the floor with a soft thud once my notebook had hit the cool marble table and I sighed through my nose, feeling a thousand emotions in one.I was mad at myself, irritated, and frustrated even for not being able to even draw a simple piece of artwork properly now and why that happened, I didn't even know.

Art was a form of escapism for me, a way to escape the terrifying reality of this world, and during times like this when I am unable to even connect with it, was the darkest of times for me. I didn't have anyone to talk to about the troubles that I face everyday and the horrible nightmares I dream about every night, so art was the only thing I had left in my life as a way to express how I felt without even using words that needed to be said to anyone. Every one back home was rarely home every day and living in a small house all alone by yourself for at least the entire day, it got to the point where even you yourself felt as if you were the only one in the world.

Art, was the only true friend I had ever since the passing of my mother and when I am unable to even draw or paint for whatsoever reason, I feel as if I'm trapped in an eternal darkness with no way out. Its as if one day, you didn't know how to breathe at all and you're struggling to remember how to do it but you can't, no matter how hard you try or want it to return. It only comes back whenever it wants it too, and when it does, you're already in indescribable pain. It was hell, in a simple words. Hell that will only end whenever it wants too.

I yanked at my hair a couple more times with all the force I had, using the physical pain as my sword to wield against the mental pain of my inability to draw at the moment, and for the moment at least, it helped. I slowly retracted my hands from my hair and placed my hands around my neck as I turned my direction to the glass window that was stationed beside me. I breathed in and out like a silent mantra for me to calm down and heard a small wise part of my mind telling me to divert my attention to something else. Something else to make me forget about the troubles.

I shifted my gaze to the clear glass window that was positioned beside me and began to watch as multiple raindrops fell from the sky and landed onto the ground and on the glass. My eyes followed each and every one of the droplets that began to move quickly against the cool glass in a downwards direction and continued watching with a sudden new feeling of tranquility as the raindrops met with each other and dissolved into a puddle of rain water. It was as if part of the heavy weight that was placed on my shoulders had suddenly disappeared and dissolved into the tranquility that floated peacefully around me. I pulled back my hands that were cupping my neck and folded them, crossing my arms against my chest. I couldn't help but feel as if I was slowly falling into a light burden less depth of my own never land as I continued staring with only the silence of the room keeping me company.