This is How I Disappear

Euphoria

You know that feeling when you just forget every single problem and just give in to the feeling of euphoria?

The place you do not have to remember if you picked up the living room, to cook dinner before your parents get home and start screaming at you for the food, or if you did the laundry?

That was the feeling I had when the lights went down and that first guitar note starting playing.

When the crowd starting screaming and yelling the band's name.

where you just close your eyes and let yourself become lost in the moment.

All I could hear was the thundering yelling of "MCR! MCR! MCR!"

and when that beautiful voice started singing I forgot if I cooked dinner, or picked up the living room, or if I did the laundry.

I just enjoyed this moment of stolen euphoria of happiness that I knew I had to have.

The lyrics that lit my darkest days and saved my from the thing that was my life.

hearing them in person was different.

Beautiful, god like, phenomenal.

I stare at the faces at the five beautiful boys that save me everyday and smile

For the next hour and a half I smile

After the show I just walk out of the stadium

put my earphones on and start to walk to the bus stop

nothing like good old California metro buses that run late into the evening. I was grateful, it was the only way I could get home.

I don't remember much after that but all I could remember was girls screaming and running...then it went blank.

"hey Gee get a rag! She is bleeding!"

what?

who is Gee?

"Hey chick, hey can you hear me? Hey whats your name? Mikey I think she is coming around!"

"Wh-who ar-are you?"

"My name is Gerard. we found you by the bus stop I think you must have hit your head pretty hard when those girls tackled you."

I really couldn't look away from his hazel eyes

"Do you know my name?"

"What?"

"My name do you know it?"

"Hun we just found you why would we know your name?"

"Be-because....I don't know it."

"oh...well that could be a problem."

How could I not know who I am?