This is How I Disappear

he broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it...

rose petals on the bed and candles everywhere.

some apple cider chilling in a bucket with two glasses.

"Hey there beautiful"

"Gee what is all this?"

"I just want our first time together to be special."

"Oh Gerard Way you are so wonderful."

"And you Isabella Black are my world."

he came closer and brought my face to his.

"I love you with all my heart Bells.I mean that."

"I know. I love you with all my soul Gerard."

and he began to kiss me and it got more passionate.

he went and slid off my jacket.

and I started to unbutton his shirt and left it fall to the ground.

he pulled my dress down and saw the extent of my life with Scarlett.

he ran his hand all over them.

and then I unzipped his pants.

he layed me back on the bed and kissed every scar.

"You are perfect."

"You are wonderful."

that night we showed each how much we loved each other.

I sat on a chair watching the man that I love sleep.

Last night was just amazing...and perfect.

we fit together physically.

We were perfect for each other.

He held me just right, and kissed me in all the right places.

it was magical.

i sat there wearing one of his shirts and with my guitar strumming a familar tune.

Something I had in my head for a while.

and words came out of nowhere.

"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind.

He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it.

And my mama swore that she would never let herself forget.

and that was the day that I promised I'd never would sing of love if it does not exist.

But darling you are the only exception.

you are the only exception

you are the only exception

you are the only exception

maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts

and we got to find other ways to make it alone

or keep a straight face

and I've always lived like this keeping a comfortable distance

and up until now I have sworn that I am content with loneliness

cause none of it was ever worth the risk

well you are the only exception

you are the only exception

you are the only exception

you are the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality

but I can't let go of whats in front of me here

I know you are leaving in the morning when you wake up

leave me with some kind of proof that its not a dream

you are the only exception

you are the only exception

you are the only exception

you are the only exception

you are the only exception

you are the only exception

you are the only exception

you are the only exception

and I'm on my way to believing

oh I'm on my way to believing"

I was to focused to noticed that Gerard was awake and and staring at me with his eyes just wide open

"Did you write that?"

"Yeah I have had it in my head for a while actually. I just finally found the right words to go with it. I guess you can say last night was inspirational."

"Really?"

"yeah. Last night gee was.."

"magical"

"its like you are taking the words right out of my head."

"Its true though, how about we make it a magical morning as well?"

"You know....I would love that."

we layed there just holding each other

looking into each other's eyes

"I never thought I could experience that much passion with anyone in my whole life."

"Really?"

"Yeah I mean I have done it before with past girlfriends but none were as intense and so right like you and me."

"You mean it?"

"Yes I do Bells. It feels like we were meant to be. like you were meant to be here."

"Can I say something?"

"Anything."

"I feel that way too. Like I was destined to end up on this bus and with you guys. Because it all lead me to you. It lead me to this, to love, to everything that is good."

"Oh sugar."

"Its true. I have seen things I have wanted to forget, and been through hell and yet I am still here living, and finally having something good in my life. Something I know will never go away."

"You know I will never stop loving you right bells?"

"I know"

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because...because everytime I look into your eyes I know you are telling the truth. Its like I can see who you really are through them, if you are lying or telling the truth. I know by just looking into them"

"wow."

"Yeah I know. haha."

"You are the most amazing girl I know."

"Thanks."

"And I thank god you are mine."

"Me too."