This is How I Disappear

Nightmares and Memories (Mikey)

Gerard started dating Alexis in order to forget Bella.

and Bella well seemed happy

no one knew about Alexa except for me

and honestly

I don't like her

my older brother can do better.

but he was hurting and he did everything to avoid spilling his guts and

ruining her relationship with Bob

so he stopped being in the same room as her.

He is just basically avoiding her altogether.

Worst is that Alexa works with the tour as a merch girl.

So she will always be around until the end of the tour.

I can't stand her

"Can you please get rid of that thing you call a girlfriend."

"No Mikey if you don't like her well too bad."

"I know you are in pain Gee, but she isn't right for you."

"Well she makes me forget, and that's all I need her for so deal with it!"

he stormed off, probably to meet her.

Love makes us to stupid things.

Even taking a bitch as a girlfriend to forget.

It was late and the bus stopped for the night because

the driver, Dennis needed rest he drove all night last night.

So we checked into a hotel for the evening

gosh I needed a shower.

all the guys had split themselves up into two rooms.

I shared with Frank and Bob

and Gerard was with Ray

and Bella had her own room

I couldn't sleep that night

and it was late so I decided to talk a walk by the pool.

I slipped on my shoes and snuck out the room

quietly so I wouldn't wake up anybody.

As I was walking through the hallway

I heard a scream

a very loud

"NOO!!!!"

it came from Bella's room

I went and knocked on the door

"Bella?...Bells are you okay? Sweetie? Bella can you please open this door?

I heard footsteps walking towards the door.

she looked like hell

her hair was all messed up and some bags under her eyes

"Hey mikes..."

"Are you okay?"

"Not really"

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"You better come on in then."

"How about you get some shoes on and we go sit by the pool and talk?"

"Okay."

We made our way to the pool area and sat by the edge

"Why did you scream?"

"I-I...I had a nightmare."

"What is it about?"

"Its a memory...."

"wait you are remembering things now?"

"Well kind of....its a nightmare and a memory I think I am not sure."

"Oh..what happens in the memory?"

"They beat me...hit me...kick me...abuse me."

I sat there listening...its a dream just a dream thinking it

over and over again.

"My parents....they were abusive. In the dream they beat me."

"oh honey."

"and there is someone else.'

"In the dream I have a twin brother...Matt. He is good to me."

I sat there and listened

I couldn't say much

"I mean its just a dream...its not real."

I hugged her and held her

"I hope so sweetie that it is a dream...i really do so."

For her sake I really do hope that she is just dreaming

and that her parents can't really be this horrible.