This is How I Disappear

Advice (Gerard)

I didn't want to go back in there.

I couldn't.

I loved her enough to wish her happiness

but it hurt too much, it hurt so fucking much.

I just stayed there where we had a paint war earlier.

I just sat on the ground.

I warmed up my vocal cords

I had to.

We had a show in a couple hours.

I just sat there and did my usual warm ups

and then started to sing

nothing in mind.

Just started to sing whatever popped into my head.

I couldn't get my mind off of her I had to stop

thinking about Bella.

I had to!

"FUCK!"

"What is it Gee?"

I was startled

"Oh shit, I thought I was alone."

"Are you okay man?"

"yeah...I guess."

"You sure?"

"No Frank...fuck man..she seems happy, thats all I want for her."

"Who?"

"But it hurts so much. But she is happy...I have to let her be happy."

"oh."

"Yeah. She is happy. And I am ...here."

"You love her don't you?"

"I have tried to lie to myself but who am I kidding? She asked me to kiss her

and I froze up man. I froze!"

"Oh man."

"Yeah.

"You know I think you should...nah never mind you might think its a bad idea."

"What? Please I need something anything to stop feeling this way."

"Well find a distraction Gerard a chick to take your mind off of her."

"that's...that's actually a good idea."

"Yeah man it will help. hopefully."

"Thanks Frank."

"Anytime Gee."

I was going to take his advice

I need anything

anything to get Bella off my mind.