This is How I Disappear

"So please let me get what I want this time.."

"no-no ple-please. No don't I will be good. Pl-please don't hit me. Please. No. No. no. NO!!!!"

I sat up and soon a pair of arms were around me.

"Shh baby it's okay."

I started to cry

"It's okay I am here. Shh baby. Bella calm down please. Shhh."

"It was horrible. I couldn't. I-oh Gerard."

"Shh it was only a nightmare it's okay I am here."

If he only knew.

I tighten my grip around him

"I can't sleep alone please. Just hold me while I try."

"The two of us won't fit on this couch."

"We will sleep on the floor just please. Please hold me."

"I have a better idea."

"What?"

He grabbed me and picked me up and carried me to his bunk.

He started to sing and soon enough I was out.

No nightmares, no voices yelling me in my head.

Just peace, and quiet.

I had to admit.

I could kind of get use to this.

Give in why don't you?

What?

You are going to give in aren't you and forgive him?

Psh! No! Do I look like I forgive and forget at an instant?

I mean I don't know look at you all smiles.

Shut up!

Yeah yeah yeah I get the drill.

I woke up next morning. A little strange, freaked out I guess would be the right word.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I like to watch you sleep."

"Uh why? It's a bit weird and creepy."

"I guess you are right. I guess I just can't believe I got you back in my bunk."

"Well enjoy while it lasts because this is the last time that's going to happen."

"We'll see."

"Cocky aren't we?"

"Yeah I guess you can say that."

"Huh. Well mister let me go because I have to get dress and see what I am going to do for today."

"Alright."

He let me go and I went to go change into a fresh set of clothes.

I look great if I don't say so myself.

Vain much?

Shut up!

Yeah going....going...going

I decided on a dress.

And some boots.

I always wore them.

I liked the height.

I was kind of short.

So I never take them off unless I am going to bed.

I put on some shades and went for a walk.

I needed to clear my head on everything that had gone on and when and if ever I am going to let Gerard all the way in.