This is How I Disappear

"nothing's gonna change my world.." (Gerard)

Gosh, I can't even look at her anymore.

It pains me.

it been weeks since I have last seen her, and had the argument with Mikey.

I only knew that Bob had given her the locket we all put in money for.

I didn't even want to see it.

It was before her and bob and to see it on her, I just couldn't.

I stood here smoking a cigerette, thinking about her as always.

"Hey there handsome."

"Oh Hey."

"what do you mean oh hey? I am your girlfriend you can least be happy to see me!!"

Oh gosh.

"I am baby."

"You sure don't act like it."

"Baby I am I am just thinking."

"About me?"

yeah right.

"Yeah, always about you."

"Well then can you tell me something?"

"huh?"

"WHY HAVEN'T YOU INTRODUCED ME TO YOUR FRIENDS YET?!!!"

oh fuck here we go again

"Alexis baby, I am just waiting for the right time."

"It's been six months already Gerard, and I can't wait any longer!"

"Relax baby I will do it soon."

"No Gerard not soon today! If you still want a girlfriend!!"

shit, shit I can't I need her to make me forget

"oh alright alright. I will do it today."

"good now give mama some sugar."

we were making out as always and I was just there but my mind was always somewhere else.

I heard faint singing coming from somewhere.

and it got stronger and stronger.

the voice was beautiful, powerful, and sounded familiar somehow.

I could hear,

"Thought meander like restless wind

inside a letter box.

They tumble blindly as they make their way

across the universe.

Nothing's going to change.....

Alexis pulled away and saw a pair of bright green eyes stare at us, which shock and pain written across that beautiful pale face of hers.

"Ew what you like staring at people while they make out? Go away you sick pervert, and let me get back to my boyfriend."

and all she said was

"my world."

and then she ran

fuck no!

I ran after her

"Gerard!"

was all I can hear

"Bella! Bella! wait!!"

I caught up to her and grabbed her arm.

"Wait Bella let me explain, please, she is nothing to me."

"You don't have to explain anything to me, I am not your girlfriend."

thats hurt, you have no idea how much that hurts when I realize that.

"I know but hey look at me."

I put a finger under her chin and lifted her head to make her look at me

she was blushing

"Baby look at me."

Those haunting eyes looked at me my heart sped faster

"don't, don't call me that."

"Why?"

she started to tear up

"Because I- because I L-, Because I Lo-"

"because you what Bella?"

Please tell me she feels the same way, please

"I can't"

and she ran

and halfway she started to slow down and then she stopped and she dropped to the ground

"No!!"

I ran up to her.

and went to see if she was unconscious

"Hey Bella, please wake up, please."

I lifted her up and started to carry her back to the bus

she was light as a feather

"GERARD!!!"

"Alexis not now she passed out."

"PUT HER DOWN!!"

"Keep it down!"

"I said put her down!"

"Alexis I have to help her."

"Is she your girlfriend or am I?!"

"Not now!"

"You know what? Whatever!"

I didn't give a shit about her

I had to help Bella.

I managed to help her back to my bunk on the bus and put her down

and sat there hoping she would come around

"Please baby, wake up. Please, I love you. I love you. Even though I might not be able to say it when you wake up I will say it now, please wake up."

I kissed her, It was only time I knew I would.