Breathless (Book 1&2)

Breathless #48

Breathless #48
Noreen

Sa sobrang bilis ng araw, hindi ko namalayan na graduate na pala ako and it has been three weeks since Cloud moved to UK.

I missed him so much, for me, those days were the worst, or maybe not.

"Noreen, will you go to Cebu to ask some favor sa Aunt Criselda mo?" Mom asked me with her most desperate face. Kumunot ang noo ko bago siya sinagot.

"Again Mom? Di ba last time halos isampal na niya sa iyo yung contract na hawak niya? She doesn't even consider you as her cousin, at least." Sagot ko saka kinuha ang damp towel and started to wipe my dad's face.

I am personally taking care of him, he can't move and can hardly speak na. His condition didn't improve. He looks so weak kaya minsan ayaw ko na lang siyang tignan.

We decided to stop hiring a private nurse. Sabi ko kay Mommy, ako na lang maiiwan dito kay Daddy if she needs to run an errand. She even asked most of our kasambahay and drivers to leave their job. We can't afford to pay them na kasi, si Nanay na lang natira sa bahay and she's willing to stay kahit na alam niyang wala na kaming kayang i-offer.

In the past few days, I'm so occupied na dalawang beses palang kaming nag-kakaabutan ni Cloud thru Skype. The time difference is a big factor, nagsimula na rin kasi ang classes niya and I know hindi biro yun.

He frequently calls pero everytime naman na tatawag siya, I have to attend my father, madalas na kasi siyang umaangal sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman niya, and the result, Cloud and I will settle on short text messages na lang.

I want to enroll in a review center para naman may option kami ni Mommy in case na mawala lahat sa amin. I don't want that to happen, of course but I'm more of a realistic person, worse comes to worst, I should be the one working and providing the needs of my parents. I told my Mom na gamitin na niya ang trust fund ko pero she insisted na kahit anong mangyari, hindi niya gagalawin iyon.

Hindi na rin ako makatulog ng mabuti, since graduation, sobrang pagod and busy ko sa pag-alalay kila Mommy. After all, kaming tatlo lang naman ang magdadamayan. We can't even put out the fire that the media started. Hindi ko alam kung paano pa nakakaharap si Mommy sa public after all the scandals that Dad committed.

"Mom, do you love Dad that much that's why you are enduring all these pain?" biglang tanong ko sa kanya matapos ilapag ang baso ng tubig sa ibabaw ng mini cabinet na nasa tabi ng hospital bed ni Daddy.

Because of his situation, parang dito na rin ako nakatira. Minsan, si Mom na lang ang umuuwi sa bahay to get what we need, madalas si Nanay. Our hospital bills are getting big as the days goes by pero ang condition ni Daddy, wala paring improvement.

Mom's face changed since it all started. Stress is also taking a toll on her body. Insomnia is really hitting her badly. Pakapal ng pakapal ang make up niya sa mukha to hide the visible effects of what Dad did.

"I love him and I love you so much." Sagot niya sa akin saka pinakita ang isang pale na ngiti. She's tired, I know and it's so obvious. "Nung bago palang kami ng Daddy mo, akala ko din hindi mag wo-work out ang lahat. I have to smile every time we face the public so that everyone will know that my husband makes me happy. I hid everything behind my back. I protected your father and my family's name."

"Bakit hindi ka na lang sumuko agad kung alam mo naman pala sa simula, nahihirapan kana?"

"There's a big difference between nahihirapan at hindi kaya." Sagot niya sa akin saka ngumiti ulit, pero medyo may laman na ngayon. I looked at her habang hinihintay ang susunod na sasabihin niya.

"Nahihirapan means, mahirap lang pero kakayanin. At yun ang naramdaman ko for your Dad. Mahirap sa simula, oo, pero alam kong kakayanin and I don't regret anything. I have him and you, that's the most important thing." Tumayo siya saka hinawakan ang kamay ko.