I want Her (Underswap!Sans x Shy!Reader)

~Chapter 39-As it seems~

-Normal P.O.V-

Ever felt like you weren't in control? Where you could do nothing about the situation?

I bet you think: Why wasn't I able to do anything?

Well, really, there is nothing you can do. There is a limited amount of cards on the table, and you have to play them when you can.

It sounds simple.

There's a problem and you want to help. But when your ability to love gets in the way, you're basically just sitting there, waiting for things to get worse, or to get better.

But in reality?

It's hard.

There's many things going on in the background that you can't solve either. Your mind is trying to wrap things around the problems but nothing is getting through.

You have the stuff in the background, pulling on your hand and telling you to come with it, but then you have the big problem that needs to be solved first.

"Why can't I just snap my fingers and it will all go away!?"

"I just need time to figure this out!"

"Why can't everything be easy?"

You have a rope. You're tugging on one end, and all of your problems of tugging on the other end. There is three ways this can go. You can tug harder and you pull over your problems, winning at the situations. Your problems and pull you down to the ground, and they stomp all over you, emotionally draining you. Or, you know, the rope could snap all together, making life crumble underneath you.

You're believing a lie, and really, your problems is winning because your blinded.

Blinded by your denial, anger, trust, and upset state.

Feel that tap on your shoulder? That's your fear and paranoia crawling up your back and wrapping itself around your body so you can't move.

In the corner if your eye, see that shadow behind you? That's your problems following you around everywhere you go.

Feel those tears dripping down your cheeks? That's your pain and suffering in one little tear, escaping so it can make more room for other pain, agony, and suffering.

You scream out, knowing you'll get any frustration out there, hoping it will make you feel better, but only makes it worse.

As it seems, your demons keep crawling back, getting all in your face and laughing at you. You plead for them to go away, but they only tilt their heads and chuckle.

But when they finally give up and release their hold on you, your blind fold has been taken off as well.

Everything looks grey, black, and red. You come to the cold hearted truth that you've been lied to.

Everything encouraging thing people say only make you fuzz up in anger.

That's only because you know that every encouraging thing they say means nothing.

You have to ask yourself something that you never thought you would have to.

"Why won't everyone and everything just go away?"
----

. . .

Hey.

Sorry for the depressing chapter.

Yeah, it's meant for my book, but this is also giving you a little taste of how I'm feeling right now.

I apologize I couldn't update sooner, I'm just in a tuff state right now. My dad is... not okay.

I've got to the point where I won't eat. I know I'm gonna get fussed at about this, but I really can't help it.

Anyway!

Sorry for ranting. ;^;