"You Die, I Die" ~ 5SOS

32.

Calum's P.O.V
* A couple of days later *

I walk out of my room to the kitchen. I can't sleep anymore. I hear Luke crying in his room. I knock on the door and then I open it.

"Hey mate, can I come in?"

Luke shrugs and he rubs the tears away with the back of his hand. He sits on the edge of his bed.

I haven't seen him that much the past few days. He hid in his room or he wanted to be alone. Every night I hear him crying, whispering Emma's name.

Tomorrow is the first concert since we have seen Emma and Ella again. We have checked out of the hotel, drove to an other hotel and checked back in.

"I still can't believe it, you know." Luke starts talking. "I can see her. I see her when I close my eyes. I hear her when it's quiet."

I put my arm around him. He turns his body a bit and he hugs me. I feel my neck slowly turning wet because of his tears.

"I don't know what to do anymore Cal." He's holding back his tears.

"It's okay to cry Luke, let it all out." I say

And then he lets it all out. It's breaking my heart.

After a few minutes he calms a bit. He grabs in his pocket and takes out a pack with cigarettes. I look around in his room and I see cigarettes everywhere I look. Then I smell the smell of alcohol and cigarettes. Luke smells to alcohol and cigarettes too.

He's processing his lost, just the way Emma did.

---------

"Where is Luke?" John asks.

"I think it's better to skip this concert. He's not ready." I say.

"Fuck." John mutters and he walks away.

"I went in his room last night. He looked really bad. He's drunk all the time and he smokes a lot of cigarettes." I say to Michael and Ashton. "I think it's better that he's going home for a few days."

Ella's P.O.V

"Ella?" Tom walks in the room.

I look up from my phone. "Yeah?"

"I-I wanna break up with you." Tom says.

"W-why?" I ask, not sure how to feel right now.

"Because things have changed since you've slept with that other guy. And it's not because you slept with him, but it's just not the same anymore..." Tom says. "So please don't blame it on yourself because you cheated, because that's not the reason I'm breaking up with you!"

I just nod. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who felt different.

"You don't have to leave immediatly, and I'll take the couch to sleep on." Tom says.

"Okay, thank you." I say as I get up from the couch. "I'm going for a walk."

As I close the door behind me, I start crying. So this is it? I'm left alone? Suddenly I miss Emma.

My beautiful sister Emma. I will never get her back because of that stupid airplane crash. If I wasn't so blind for Tom, I could've let her stay here and then she wouldn't be dead by now.

I decide to go to the hairdresser. I want something different with my hair. Because everythime I look in the mirror, I see a failure. The bad side of Emma and me. Because Emma was always the good side.

"Hello dear, what do you want?" The hairdresser looks at me like she reconises me. "Wait, haven't I see you here earlier this week?"

I shake my head. "No madam, it's the first time I'm here."

"Do you have any sisters?" She asks.

"I had a twin." I say and I feel guilt.

"Well, that explains it a lot!" She says happy.

"No, it doesn't... My twin is dead." I say to her. "I would like to dip dye my hair blue and a bit shorter."

"I'm sorry for your lost..." She says very friendly. "What kind of blue were you thinking of?"